{"id":1460,"date":"2022-01-20T22:14:27","date_gmt":"2022-01-21T05:14:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/baakay.com\/Snow\/?page_id=1460"},"modified":"2022-02-02T10:36:31","modified_gmt":"2022-02-02T17:36:31","slug":"chapter-12-chip","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/baakay.com\/Snow\/volume-ii\/part-i-past-and-present\/chapter-12-chip\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 12 – Chip"},"content":{"rendered":"
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 <\/p>\n

Chip had thought he\u2019d already been through the hardest things he would ever need to do, at least until such time as he would need to say goodbye to his parents.<\/p>\n

He was wrong.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

He stood in the yard of Jorrvaskr, staring numbly at Aela and seeing nothing in her gaze that could guide him. That, in and of itself, was difficult; he\u2019d come to think of Aela as an older and wiser sister. But she had nothing to offer him. He was the Harbinger. He was supposed to be the one providing the guidance.<\/p>\n

Their trip to Solstheim had been followed by two other hunts. The second Totem of Hircine was in the vampire-ridden cave known as Haemar\u2019s Shame. It didn\u2019t seem to matter how often the cave was cleared out, Aela had told him; vampires re-established themselves there in short order every time. As they approached the cave, he\u2019d turned to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook\u2026 I\u2019m thinking of taking this place on in my other form. They aren\u2019t going to give me their disease in any case, and it\u2019ll make things a lot quicker if I can use my claws. I hope you won\u2019t mind? You can join me if you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aela had smiled at him. \u201cDo what you feel is right, Harbinger. I will stay as I am, because these tunnels are narrow and there won\u2019t be room for two of us to hunt in beast form. You\u2019ll see what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

And he had. After taking out the first thrall they met with two quick arrows, Chip stowed his weapons and purposefully changed form. He\u2019d consumed the thrall, feeling stronger and fiercer as a result. Then he\u2019d walked face-first into a swinging wall of spikes when his huge paws failed to clear a pressure plate on the floor. The wolf had whined, and licked the blood off its fur as best it could while waiting to heal; and his Chip-self shook his head and sighed internally.<\/p>\n

So Aela wasn\u2019t kidding about the tunnels being narrow for a werewolf. Ow.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The vampires in flimsy robes were easy to take down in spite of their magic. All he had to do was run into them at top speed, his mass flinging them backwards and sometimes even up into the air. Even the strongest of them couldn\u2019t keep their footing in the face of the collisions; and between his powerful claws and Aela\u2019s arrows, they all went down easily. The human thralls were a bit tougher, because they wore actual armor and carried large weapons. One by one, though, they were flung to their deaths or mauled by Chip\u2019s powerful claws and teeth; and he consumed them all to keep his strength up. One thrall, raised up again by a vampire, had whispered a haunting \u201cthank you\u201d as Chip destroyed him for a second, and final, time.<\/p>\n

Only the master vampire in the last chamber was a problem. He had both more powerful magic and also an enchanted weapon that left the wolf bleeding and gasping in agony. In his frantic panic to escape the pain he turned and roared directly into the room; and his roar had all the remaining vampires fleeing in terror. The master vampire, though he\u2019d blinked out of visibility for a moment, had a glowing ball of magic in one hand; that was enough for the werewolf to find and destroy him.<\/p>\n

The chest here held, among other things, an elaborately-decorated hand drum. Chip extended it toward Aela.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it! That\u2019s the second totem. Quickly, let\u2019s get back to Whiterun and put it with the other one.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d watched, smiling, as Aela knelt before the second altar in the Underforge, now holding the Totem of Brotherhood. Chip was proud that they\u2019d managed to retrieve it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Not too long afterward, Aela had whispered to him that she\u2019d discovered where the final totem was, and had invited him to hunt alongside her. They\u2019d had a good run to Mara\u2019s Eye Pond. Chip admired Aela\u2019s strength, and her skills as an archer were well-matched with his own. They\u2019d contested to see who could shoot down more of the swarm of mudcrabs guarding the island in the center of the pond; Chip lost track, but it didn\u2019t matter, as they were laughing and enjoying each other\u2019s company. He couldn\u2019t help but see her beauty, as well, remembering the day when she\u2019d first asked whether he was strong enough to hunt with her. But Aela was too old for him \u2013 he knew that without doubt \u2013 and her heart remained with Skjor just as his lingered with the Frostmoon clan, on the icy slopes of Solstheim.<\/p>\n

Someday I\u2019ll find someone. I suppose that I\u2019m in no rush.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

There was a small rowboat pulled up onto the mud of that tiny island in the pond. Someone had set a wooden peg into one of the trees there, and hung a lantern from it. Just beyond it was a trap door set into the ground. Chip sniffed, and frowned.<\/p>\n

\u201cMore vampires?\u201d he asked, shooting a confused glance Aela\u2019s way. \u201cI mean, maybe it\u2019s just the dampness I smell, but I remember running across one of these out in Falkreath. It was so clearly a vampire\u2019s den. The vampire knew I was there, too. I could sense him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aela tested the air and nodded. \u201cI think you\u2019re right. It is a bit strange that both of the totems on the mainland have been in vampire dens, but there has never been any love lost between our peoples. Perhaps there was some sort of raid long ago. Who knows? Let\u2019s just go retrieve the totem.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip nodded. \u201cOK. Be prepared, though. If that last place was any indication we may need to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

They climbed carefully down the ladder. Behind him, Chip heard Aela snort. This den was a tiny space, and wide open past the short entryway aside from wooden platforms extending over the water that pooled at its floor. Chip sighed quietly.<\/p>\n

Figures. After all my buildup, there\u2019s no room here for more than a couple of people.<\/em><\/p>\n

He eased forward into the cave and moved to his right along the platform. Just across the way stood a vampire; alone, quiet, and in the open. It made lining up his shot easy, and the surprise attack felled the creature with one arrow.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A second vampire rose from her seat at a table and cast a resurrection spell on her dead companion; but as Aela rushed around the far edge of the cavern Chip kept his sights on the raised vampire and shot her again, turning her to a pile of ash. The second vampire ran toward Aela, but didn\u2019t get close enough for her life-draining spell to do much damage. Both Aela and Chip fired at her, and she disintegrated.<\/p>\n

They found an ornately-carved skull in a partially-submerged chest at the bottom of the cave. By some good fortune the chest had stayed watertight enough that there was no damage to its contents. As Chip examined the totem he couldn\u2019t help see the resemblance between it and his bow, between it and the altars he\u2019d found in the Glenmoril witch\u2019s cave, in the wilderness in the western Whiterun hold, and just beneath the edge of the glacier on Solstheim. He could feel Hircine\u2019s energy.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have it?\u201d Aela asked again, somewhat anxiously to Chip\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. I\u2019m sure this must be it.\u201d He handed her the skull.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt last!\u201d she exclaimed, turning it over in her hands. \u201cThe final totem is ours! Let\u2019s get back to the Underforge to complete our set.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what they\u2019d done. Aela insisted that the totems would bring them closer to Lord Hircine, and knelt before the final one, earnestly praying. Chip didn\u2019t have the heart to tell her that he felt no difference when he knelt before them.<\/p>\n

I already have Hircine\u2019s blessings \u2013 his rings, his bow, his amulet. His approval. I went to his realm and defeated his beasts. Perhaps there is nothing left for me to gain.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Later, Chip had found it hard not to laugh when Vilkas offered him another job. It was a bit of a sensitive matter, he started to say, and Chip started to grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me guess. Someone\u2019s mislaid a particular steel war axe\u2026 again?\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas hadn\u2019t been in the vicinity when Skjor had given him the first war axe assignment, back in the days before he\u2019d been named Harbinger \u2013 back before all of the chaos, bloodshed and heartbreak had happened. But even as it hurt his heart to think of the people they\u2019d lost he couldn\u2019t help believing that Skjor was laughing from the Hunting Grounds.<\/p>\n

Vilkas frowned. \u201cNnooo,\u201d he said slowly. \u201cIt\u2019s a steel dagger that\u2019s been mislaid. Nothing particularly special, but it\u2019s a family heirloom and they\u2019re paying well for us to get it back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip looked down at his own daggers. One had been his mother\u2019s. The other had belonged to Skjor. Each of them meant something very special to him, even moreso now that he\u2019d taken Kodlak\u2019s place in Jorrvaskr. He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand. It\u2019s not the item itself that gives it the value. Just tell me where to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was no wonder that the people in question had dropped the dagger; it was in a cave crawling with Falmer. But the werewolf didn\u2019t care about the Falmer: it shredded them all, each as it came for him, as though they were skeevers, or field mice. And at the end, Chip had taken control again to retrieve the unremarkable dagger from the chest where it was stored, and had made the trip back to Whiterun.<\/p>\n

The Companions were all in the yard when he arrived to return the dagger. Vilkas sat on the ground near the back wall, watching Ria practice sword strikes on one of the training dummies.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey there, Vilkas,\u201d he said, smiling. \u201cI retrieved the family\u2019s steel dagger, as requested.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas took the dagger and turned it over in his hands, nodding. \u201cAnd it looks undamaged. Very good. They\u2019ll be pleased, I\u2019m sure. And we\u2019re pleased with their money.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip nodded, and took his payment when Vilkas offered it; but he fought not to grimace. This again. Surely Vilkas realizes that the money is not the most important thing. Kodlak was in it for the honor, not the gold.<\/em><\/p>\n

He turned to leave and saw Aela, standing in the middle of the yard, and Farkas seated just behind her. Farkas caught Chip\u2019s eye and beckoned him to come near.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi Farkas!\u201d he said, happy to speak to this man again.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello, whelp,\u201d Farkas grinned back.<\/p>\n

\u201cGot any jobs needing doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Farkas said. \u201cThere is always work.\u201d He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. That pause made the hackles on Chip\u2019s neck rise in alarm.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas sighed, staring ahead of himself blankly. \u201cMy mind is someplace else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that maybe Kodlak was right. As a werewolf, I can\u2019t be a good Nord.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Chip felt as though someone had driven that inconsequential steel dagger through his heart. Farkas as a normal man? Not the great, sleek, incredibly powerful wolf he\u2019d met first of all of them? Chip took a moment to catch his breath and gather his thoughts, and then spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re one of the best Nords I\u2019ve ever met, Farkas. Most loyal, strongest\u2026 How could you say that about yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to be clean, like Kodlak was, and go to Sovngarde when I finally die.\u201d Farkas finally looked up again to meet Chip\u2019s confused gaze. He looked sure of himself, and determined. Farkas was a man of few words; but as Chip had noted before, those few words were usually simple, direct, and elegant.<\/p>\n

When Chip cast a distressed glance at Aela, she shook her head. She had nothing to offer him. He was the Harbinger. He was supposed to be the one providing the guidance now.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see you still have the witches\u2019 heads in your pack,\u201d Farkas continued. \u201cThis is good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip grimaced. He\u2019d been intending to stow the rest of the heads in a safe at his cottage, but the Companions had kept him on the go for weeks. The heads were dry and shriveled now, but to a werewolf\u2019s keen nose they were still easy to pinpoint.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t talk my way out of this. Farkas knows how we cured Kodlak. The best I can do is agree now, and then try to change his mind.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI \u2026 will help you, Farkas. It seems like the least I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would be honored for you to accompany me, Harbinger,\u201d Farkas said formally. \u201cLet\u2019s go to the tomb. We can do the cleansing there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip nodded. \u201cWe\u2019ll take the carriage to Winterhold. No arguments. I don\u2019t feel like running all that way right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas nodded, and silently followed Chip out through Whiterun. The beautiful, brilliantly blue sky seemed almost to taunt Chip as they walked.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to have him in the carriage. I need to talk him out of this.<\/em><\/p>\n

They were well underway when Chip cleared his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you\u2019d reconsider this, Farkas,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019re like my big brother. You and Vilkas and Aela \u2013 you\u2019re the only people left in this world who I\u2019ve ever known who share this with me. I mean there\u2019s the pack on Solstheim, but I don\u2019t really know <\/em>them. You know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas chuckled. \u201cI know. And I\u2019m still your big brother, whelp. I mean Harbinger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChip.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever. You\u2019ll always be whelp to me. Don\u2019t take it personal.\u201d He rubbed his hands up and down his legs and blew on them to warm them. \u201cThis isn\u2019t about you, Chip. It\u2019s about me. I may not be as smart as my brother, but that\u2019s why I always listened to Kodlak.\u201d<\/p>\n

He peered directly into Chip\u2019s eyes, his face showing how earnestly he meant this. \u201cIt\u2019s taken me some time to think it all over, and I need to be a true Nord. Not a werewolf.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip was sure his pained expression must have said everything he was thinking. I don\u2019t want to be alone, he thought. I need my big-brother wolf. But he couldn\u2019t help understanding Farkas\u2019 point. It was bad to feel uncomfortable about oneself, to not know in which world one stood. He looked down at his feet.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a thief. I\u2019m not a soldier like my uncles. Whatever Ma does, I\u2019m not that, either. The only thing I\u2019ve ever been is this. Hircine\u2019s hunter and a werewolf. And one by one my companions \u2013 The Companions \u2013 are dropping away from me. It\u2019s not fair. <\/em><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not my life we\u2019re talking about.<\/em><\/p>\n

He sighed, and raised his head, and half-grinned at Farkas. \u201cYou\u2019re lucky. I\u2019ll never be a true Nord. I\u2019m half Redguard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust because I want to be cleansed doesn\u2019t mean you need to. If you decide to stay the way you are, I get that too. Do what\u2019s right for you, Chip. I know you\u2019re closer to Hircine than some of us. Keep that for yourself. It\u2019s important.\u201d<\/p>\n

And thus they arrived in Winterhold, the dismal fog that blew in off the Sea of Ghosts echoing the leaden gloom of Chip\u2019s mood. On the one hand, he desperately wanted not to slay the huge black werewolf he\u2019d met only briefly. On the other hand\u2026<\/p>\n

How could I possibly say no to a man who understands how important Hircine is to me? If it\u2019s my job to guide them now, the least I can do is help them be content.<\/em><\/p>\n

The two of them walked silently through the quiet, empty portions of Ysgramor\u2019s resting place that they\u2019d fought through together before. When they reached the chamber that had been home to the enormous spiders, Chip drew his blades.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m pretty sure they\u2019re all gone, Farkas, but I\u2019ll go first just to be sure. There are a couple of rooms full of webs but after that we\u2019ll be good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas grunted and drew his weapon. But he didn\u2019t need it; Chip and Aela had killed all the spiders and destroyed the eggs on their first trip through. They trotted through the barrow and up to the doorway leading to the two main chambers. Chip turned to look at Farkas.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure you want to do this? It\u2019s not too late to back out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas shook his head. \u201cLead on, Harbinger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Chip sighed, but led Farkas down through the room with the enormous mammoth skull and then up the stairs toward the brazier with the blue flame. Farkas stared at it, his eyes round in awe.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Farkas. I\u2019ll put one of these heads into the fire. Your spirit wolf is going to find itself outside your body. It\u2019s our job to slay it. Then you\u2019ll be free.\u201d<\/p>\n

Farkas looked a bit apprehensive, but he nodded toward the brazier. Chip took a deep breath and tossed one of the ugly heads into the flames.<\/p>\n

Chip hated having to attack what he knew was a part of his brother\u2019s spirit; but he slashed at the specter once and then backed away. When the wolf didn\u2019t attack he set on it again. Finally it responded, turning to snap at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cFarkas! You need to kill it!!\u201d he cried out, fighting to keep his voice from trembling.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

And Farkas did. He finished the spirit with a roar and one massive blow of his greatsword. He stowed his sword and then stopped, looking at his hands, turning them over and over.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you ok?\u201d Chip asked hesitantly. Kodlak had already been a ghost when they freed him; he didn\u2019t know what to expect from cleansing a living man.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it over?\u201d Farkas asked. When Chip nodded, he smiled. \u201cIt\u2019s like relaxing into a warm mug of spiced mead. I\u2019m losing aches I didn\u2019t even know I had.\u201d He stretched his shoulders and smiled more broadly. \u201cThis is how a warrior should feel. Alive and aware, not clouded with thoughts of the hunt!\u201d Then he flinched. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Chip. I didn\u2019t mean anything by that. You\u2019re as much a warrior as any man I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it, Farkas,\u201d Chip said, his voice thick with emotion. \u201cI\u2019m just glad you\u2019re ok.\u201d I don\u2019t think I could have lived with myself if anything went wrong.<\/em> \u201cNow what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you for your help. I\u2019m going to stay in the tomb for awhile. My shame kept me out before, but now I want to see it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOk, Farkas. If it makes any difference, I don\u2019t much like spiders either.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Farkas laughed and walked away, heading up to the balcony that ringed the room. Chip stood and stared at the blue flame for a moment. He could cure himself, right then and there. But no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn\u2019t bring himself to reach into the pack for another of the heads. He gave a final glance at Farkas and smiled. Then he made his way back out of the Tomb, and headed for Whiterun.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

He trudged back up the stairs to Jorrvaskr, wondering tiredly when he might be able to take a few days, return to his cabin, and rest a bit. Vilkas had sent him out to Dragon Bridge to \u201ctake care of\u201d an escaped convict, and the man had been as slippery as a greased pig to find. Every time Chip was close enough to be sure he was looking at the right man, that man would slip into a knot of citizens or guards, making the potential for disaster out of any bowshot even Hircine\u2019s own hunter could make. Finally, as the sun set, Chip headed back across the Dragon Bridge, thinking that he\u2019d best be well out into the wilderness just in case the moons\u2019 pull was too great. He had peered ahead into the twilight and spotted the man well down the road, headed toward the bridge. Chip drew his bow, waited for the guard between them to turn toward Frost River, and shot the convict through the heart.<\/p>\n

His rest on the tundra hadn\u2019t been especially restful; but he was used to that. Still, by the time he made his way down to Jorrvaskr\u2019s living quarters he was looking forward to the large, soft bed that had once been Kodlak\u2019s.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think Hircine\u2019s hunting horn going off next to my ears could keep me awake.<\/em><\/p>\n

He was almost there, almost<\/em> to the Harbinger\u2019s chambers, when he heard a man clearing his throat. He groaned silently, and sniffed the air. It was definitely Vilkas, reading a book in his room.<\/p>\n

Well, I do have to report the job done.<\/em><\/p>\n

He walked into Vilkas\u2019 room and stopped, watching Vilkas ignore him for a few moments. It was hard not to grin. No matter how long they knew each other, he could tell this would always be Vilkas\u2019 way of showing that he was the elder of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, uh, the criminal out in Dragon Bridge was determined to evade me. I got him in the end. He won\u2019t be a problem anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas nodded, still not looking up. \u201cBit by bit, we bring honor to this land. And you\u2019ve brought honor to the Companions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip smiled, happy to hear Vilkas say so.<\/p>\n

\u201cMore importantly,\u201d Vilkas continued, \u201csome gold.\u201d<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t contain himself. \u201cReally, Vilkas? Is that all you think about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas raised his head, slowly, to stare directly at Chip.<\/p>\n

Crap. I\u2019ve gone too far this time, haven\u2019t I?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not,\u201d Vilkas said quietly. \u201cThere is always work for the Companions. But this time there is a more personal matter before me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip frowned. \u201cA more personal\u2026 What\u2019s bothering you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKodlak\u2019s final teaching. I think he was right about beast blood, and Sovngarde. I know that you\u2019ve cleansed Farkas, and he\u2019s happier and more at peace than I can ever remember. I wish to cleanse myself, that I also might know glory in the afterlife.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip pulled out the chair opposite Vilkas and sat down hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot you, Vilkas! Not you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou would deny my wish?\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip shook his head, flailing about for something to say. \u201cI\u2019ve never even seen you in your wolf form! You must be the most magnificent creature ever to\u2026\u201d He looked up to see Vilkas staring at him, looking shocked.<\/p>\n

\u201cGods, I don\u2019t even know, Vilkas. I know it\u2019s all just very selfish of me but you have to hear me out. I don\u2019t even have words for how much I\u2019ve come to admire your intelligence. Your strength.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas gave him a sad smile. \u201cYou and I didn\u2019t see eye-to-eye at all, Harbinger. Not for a long while. I think that perhaps I was a bit jealous of the attention Kodlak paid you. I\u2019ve come to understand why that was. I was far too fond of the hunt. I\u2019m still far too fond of the gold. You\u2019ve seen that yourself. We need the gold to keep Jorrvaskr up, but\u2026\u201d He sighed deeply. \u201cI fear that the beast blood is bad for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip shook his head. \u201cWhat about Farkas? He didn\u2019t get carried away by the gold.\u201d He just wanted to be like Kodlak. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cFarkas is a much simpler man than I am, and he\u2019s pure of heart even if he likes to hand out a good beating now and then,\u201d Vilkas said. \u201cI\u2019m not like Farkas. That\u2019s why Kodlak didn\u2019t choose me. I was trying hard to overcome it but the temptation was too much. You saw me, that one night under the moons. I nearly attacked you, Harbinger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I did,\u201d Chip said, his voice cracking. \u201cI was in awe, Vilkas. Absolute awe. Full moons. I couldn\u2019t believe you didn\u2019t just\u2026 turn. But I was the selfish one, not you. All I wanted was to run and hunt with you. Someone who was like me. Farkas feels like a brother to me but you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas grinned. \u201cI feel like an old man? A teacher? A father, maybe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip shook his head. \u201cNo, not a father. I have one of those. I don\u2019t know, Vilkas. A friend, maybe.\u201d He took a deep breath. \u201cAnd to think how much I hated you at first. You\u2019re the reason I joined the Companions in the first place, because you made me so angry.\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused, unsure of what he wanted to say next and certain that whatever it was, it was based on his own needs and wants, not Vilkas\u2019. He shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf this is really what you want, I can\u2019t stand in your way. I can\u2019t choose for you. But\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what?\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused for a moment, considering his words. \u201cBut I need to know that you won\u2019t think less of me because I want to stay the way I am now. I need to know why I became a wolf well before I met all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas smiled. \u201cI won\u2019t think less of you, Harbinger. You won\u2019t be alone. Aela will keep the beast blood as well, I have no doubt of it. Skjor would, too, if he were still among us. Somehow I can\u2019t help but think that there\u2019s a good reason for what you\u2019ve been through, even if we don\u2019t know what it is yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright then,\u201d Chip said, groaning as he rose from the chair. \u201cI can\u2019t lie and say that this makes me happy. I hate this, Vilkas. I just hate it. But it\u2019s not my life, and not my soul. I was going to rest, but let\u2019s go get this done. We\u2019re taking the carriage, though. I may doze on you while we ride.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen lead on!\u201d Vilkas cried. \u201cBack to the Tomb of Ysgramor. My soul is now prepared.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip\u2019s heart hurt all the way to Winterhold. It was dark when they arrived, and he kept hoping that somehow the moons would exert their influence, turn both of them to the magnificent wolves they were beneath the skin, and allow Vilkas to run free and hunt with him. But there was no such pull on either of them, only the quiet lapping of the sea against the shore on a still night; and Chip had no choice but to reprimand himself yet again for being selfish.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not my life. It\u2019s Vilkas\u2019 life and his well-being at stake; and if he will feel whole and contented without his wolf spirit who am I to say no?<\/em><\/p>\n

Vilkas hadn\u2019t ventured past the first two chambers when they freed Kodlak\u2019s spirit, so Chip chattered away like a guide as they moved through the tomb. It wasn\u2019t that he thought Vilkas was nervous, or that there would be anything hiding in the shadows that Vilkas couldn\u2019t handle. It was just soothing to him, distracting him from considering how alone he was going to be. Vilkas said nothing, but nodded and smiled at him now and then. Chip heard him gasp when they neared the mammoth\u2019s skull. It was rather spectacular, after all. And then they entered the final chamber.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo this is it?\u201d Vilkas asked, approaching the blue flame.<\/p>\n

Chip sighed. \u201cYes. That\u2019s Ysgramor\u2019s coffin, up in the gated niche there,\u201d he said, pointing to the end of the chamber. \u201cI\u2019ll need to toss one of these heads into this brazier. That will pull your wolf spirit from you. We need to kill it to free you from it forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas nodded solemnly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m serious, Vilkas. I\u2019m not doing this alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m ready, Harbinger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As had happened with Farkas, the wolf spirit didn\u2019t catch Vilkas\u2019 attention immediately. Chip blinked back stinging tears as he attacked it once, and then again. Finally Vilkas turned, as if awakening, and struck at the wolf spirit with his greatsword. It went down; but in a twist of fate that Chip could never have envisioned, it had only been a few moments since his mother\u2019s blade had bitten into the wolf. Its remaining spirit rushed into one of Chip\u2019s empty soul gems with a resounding crackle.<\/p>\n

By the gods. I have captured part of Vilkas? No! I didn\u2019t want that\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Vilkas, though, was slowly breaking into a smile. His face, which Chip suddenly realized had always been set in tense lines, looked relaxed and comfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it over?\u201d he asked. Chip didn\u2019t trust his voice, so he just nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s\u2026eh\u2026 like waking up out of a dream,\u201d Vilkas said. \u201cI can breathe more deeply now!\u201d He peered at Chip and his nose wrinkled, then he shook his head. \u201cI can\u2019t smell your heart beating like I used to, but my mind\u2026 is clear. This is a great service you\u2019ve done for me, Harbinger. I will not soon forget it. I\u2019d like to spend some time communing with Ysgramor. My soul is clean now. Perhaps he\u2019ll still welcome me when my time comes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He needed to speak, and he didn\u2019t want to diminish Vilkas\u2019 moment with his own sadness.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no doubt of it, Vilkas. As will Kodlak, and all the other Harbingers whose spirits are watching us right now. Kodlak told me about them being here. We can only see the ones we know. But I\u2019m sure they all recognize you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vilkas smiled. \u201cI need to say something to you before you leave. Something I have no right to say. I need you not to be angry with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chip gave him a puzzled frown. \u201cAlright. Whatever it is, go ahead and say it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just this. You are not simply a whelp, Brynjolf Brynjolfsson. You are a fine man. A leader. You\u2019ve grown so far since you first came to us, and I am proud to call you the Harbinger. Our leader. My<\/em> leader.\u201d<\/p>\n

This time, Chip couldn\u2019t quite keep his eyes from spilling over with a few fat tears. He reached up to wipe them away, and laughed shakily.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell thank you. But your leader is going to take some time for himself for awhile. I\u2019m beat, Vilkas. I need to see if my house is still standing. I need to visit my Ma and Da, and my sister. I\u2019ll be up there if you need me. But somehow I think you and Aela and Farkas can handle things for a little bit. Get Torvar to go rescue the next missing dagger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery well,\u201d Vilkas said, smiling. \u201cAnd thank you, from the bottom of my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Qaralana paused to catch her breath before pounding on the door of Chip\u2019s cottage.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease be here,\u201d she muttered. \u201cI really can\u2019t do this alone.\u201d She pounded on the door. \u201cChip? Chip, are you home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on in,\u201d a voice called from inside. \u201cDoor\u2019s open.\u201d<\/p>\n

Qara pushed her way excitedly inside, to find Chip standing there, hands on hips.<\/p>\n

\u201cI need you to come with me, big brother!\u201d she cried. \u201cI\u2019ve been to Falskaar. You know, the place where Daddy was born! They\u2019re having a crisis and I\u2019ve promised to help them, but I can\u2019t do it on my own and nobody else will come with me. I stopped at Harald\u2019s house to get him but he\u2019s not home and I really, really need you to come with me. Please?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was only then that she noticed how sad Chip looked. How tired.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you ok?\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled, a wan sort of smile but a smile nonetheless.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will be. I need to do something, anyway, to take my mind off stuff. Let\u2019s go. sis.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded, waiting while he filled waterskins and gathered up his bow. I\u2019ll find out what\u2019s going on with him while we\u2019re on the ship.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Home Previous \/ Next   Chip had thought he\u2019d already been through the hardest things he would ever need to do, at least until such time as he would need to say goodbye to his parents. He was wrong. He stood in the yard of Jorrvaskr, staring numbly at Aela and seeing nothing in her … <\/p>\n

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