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<\/p>\nThey spent the rest of the day telling stories, laughing, walking around Riften and along the lake arm in arm. They made a stop at the meadery and spent several hours enjoying the brews. \u00a0At the end of it, they sat on the porch of Honeyside, watching the sunset, and Dagnell marveled at how different her life was now than it had been on that awful day when J\u2019hall\u2019s wagon had been destroyed.\u00a0 She felt very loved, not just because Roggi had come to see her but because Brynolf had made it happen.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me about Brynjolf,\u201d Roggi said, looking out over Lake Honrich.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She looked at him, surprised.\u00a0 \u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I want to know who is getting my best girl.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled.\u00a0 He was serious, she decided.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d she said slowly, \u201chow to say it. He\u2019s infuriating,\u201d she laughed.\u00a0 \u201cAnd he\u2019s got a huge ego. Half the time I want to hit him, but he\u2019s a lot bigger than me and that wouldn\u2019t be a good move on my part.\u201d\u00a0 Roggi chuckled.<\/p>\n
She laughed.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t want to take you on either, any more.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been\u2026 practicing.\u201d\u00a0 His arms had gotten huge.\u00a0 He must have been swinging that sword every day.<\/p>\n
Roggi looked up at her, sideways, with a sheepish grin.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I have.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at him and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I don\u2019t know what to say. He\u2019s a thief and a con man, and really good at it. Heck, he even conned me into working with him even though I suspected what he was. That\u2019s how I happened to be doing what I was doing when you and I went to Whiterun. He managed to corner me.\u201d She stopped to think.\u00a0 What else did she know about him? Oddly little other than the experiences they\u2019d shared in the past few months.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t really told her that much about himself or his past, truthfully.\u00a0 In fact, she thought, trying hard to suppress a giggle, I still don\u2019t know whether he\u2019s slept with the whole Guild or not. She smiled. \u201cHe\u2019s \u2026 very strong. I saw him in some real life or death situations not too long ago. I don\u2019t think many people could take him on and come out the other side in one piece.\u201d<\/p>\n
Roggi looked her in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cSo why are you with him then, if he\u2019s infuriating and frightening and all that?\u201d<\/p>\n
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She had to stop and think.\u00a0 How can I say it, kindly? \u201cHe \u2026 he loves me, Roggi.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked away, back out over the lake and said, softly, \u201cSo do I, Dag.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was stunning, the way he put it.\u00a0 He\u2019d never actually told her that, in those specific terms, before. Dag didn\u2019t know what to say, how to respond.\u00a0 I know, she thought. I know you do, Roggi, and I love you too, but you left me, and he didn\u2019t. \u00a0Is that why you\u2019re here, really? She sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s not a good man the way you are, Roggi. But the Guild is his family. He would do anything at all for those people.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then she grinned. \u201cAnd he has a temper. And a nose that shows it. And a scar that, well, I don\u2019t even know what that shows. Maybe I\u2019ll find out some day but I\u2019m not sure I even want to. I must be naturally drawn to men with short fuses. I guess you expect that with redheads, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
Roggi stiffened.\u00a0 \u201cRedheads?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, he\u2019s big, and has really red hair. \u00a0When I first met him I didn\u2019t know his name, so I called him Red. He hated it.\u00a0 I guess he\u2019s getting used to it now.\u201d She snickered.<\/p>\n
Roggi let out a breath. \u201cThat\u2019s the man who came to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t remember a lot of those first couple of weeks but I remember that.\u00a0 Bigger than me, red hair, and a big scar.\u00a0 It\u2019s the sort of thing that stands out.\u201d\u00a0 They fell silent for a moment, looking out over the lake.<\/p>\n
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\u201cHow strange,\u201d Roggi said. \u201cI like him. I do. We sort of hit it off.\u00a0 No, we really did hit it off; that was more fun than I\u2019d had in\u2026 forever. And not just a warm feeling because I was swimming in mead. I got the feeling that he liked me, too. To think that I\u2019ve actually met him already.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dag\u2019s mind was running in circles of confusion.\u00a0 There was something missing in all this.<\/p>\n
\u201cI did tell him that I\u2019d gone north to get backup when I left for Whiterun.\u00a0 But how would he have known to look for you, specifically? That makes no sense.\u00a0 Unless\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUnless?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe night you left.\u00a0 I ended up\u2026 well I\u2019m not sure what all I might have said.\u00a0 I vaguely remember\u2026 or maybe not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Roggi looked at her for a moment, his mouth open in astonishment, and then laughed, a big hearty laugh, his eyes sparkling.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t even picture it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n
They sat for a few more minutes.\u00a0 A couple of times Roggi started to snicker, until Dag poked him in the arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not funny<\/em>, Roggi,\u201d she grumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, it really is,\u201d he chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cI feel better, somehow, knowing it wasn\u2019t just me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo wonder,\u201d Dag said.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo wonder he didn\u2019t think it was a good idea to invite you in person. You knew him already. That\u2019s why he sent Delvin instead.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI see,\u201d Roggi said, and then paused, thinking.\u00a0 \u201cWait. So that means he\u2019s the \u201cboss\u201d Delvin mentioned. He\u2019s the one in charge of the Guild.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFor now, yes. And you need to keep that to yourself.\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cJust for now? Is he going to quit once you make an honest man of him?\u201d<\/p>\n Dag looked at Roggi, wondering, and then nodded.\u00a0 She owed him this much truth. \u201cNo. The old Guildmaster is gone.\u00a0 Dead. We had to, um, \u2026 put him down.\u201d<\/p>\n We<\/em>, Dag\u2019s sarcastic inner voice laughed. That\u2019s one way to describe it I suppose<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cBryn was Second until now, and of course he stepped up when this all happened. They — want me to take over soon, once things have settled down, and he\u2019ll be my Second.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cYou?\u201d He lowered his elbows onto his knees and his forehead into his hands.\u00a0 A few moments went by until he spoke quietly. \u201cI won\u2019t lie to you, that\u2019s really hard to take.\u00a0 I\u2019m not really sure what to think. \u00a0It was something just to get used to the idea that you were working with them at all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure what to think, either. But I seem to be very good at this business, and they seem to trust me. And please, please don\u2019t ever mention it to anyone, Roggi. Not because of me, that\u2019s not important.\u00a0 It could be dangerous for you and I don\u2019t know what I would do if something happened to you.\u201d<\/p>\n After another long silence, Dag said \u201cRoggi, I never thought I\u2019d have anyone to care for again after Coyle, not until I met you. Having you here is the best gift anyone could have given me. I feel like \u2026 like someone brought a candle into a corner of the room that I thought would never have light in it again.\u201d<\/p>\n She glanced at Roggi, who still hadn\u2019t lifted his head from his hands, struggling with emotions she couldn\u2019t see but thought she could guess.\u00a0 He hated thieves and bandits for the best of all possible reasons, yet this person he loved was one.<\/p>\n She paused.\u00a0 The next thing to be said was a \u201cbut\u2026\u201d and she didn\u2019t want to say it, would give anything for it not to need to be said. \u201cAnd then there\u2019s Brynjolf. To me he\u2019s\u2026\u201d she trailed off, words failing her again. \u201cI didn\u2019t realize, because I was so busy trying to prove him wrong about me, about anything, really, arrogant bastard that he is. But I just\u2026 can\u2019t\u2026 picture being without him.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi sighed, then raised his head and reached out to take one of her hands. There was a long moment of silence that she didn\u2019t want to interrupt; she could tell that he was searching for the right words. He smiled; it was sad, but it was a smile. Then he sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cBeing in love is like finding the piece of yourself that you didn\u2019t even know was missing,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n Dag was stunned. That\u2019s exactly what it was.<\/p>\n Roggi paused for a moment, as if weighing his next words.\u00a0 When he did speak, it was quietly, carefully.<\/p>\n \u201cI would stand beside you until the divines took us. I think you know that. I don\u2019t quite know how that happened, but it did, from the moment you came back to Kynesgrove with my shield.\u00a0 I will stand with you anyway, whether you\u2019re mine or not, if you ever need me.\u201d<\/p>\n He closed his eyes tight for a moment, then opened them and looked at her.<\/p>\n \u201cBut we both know who it is that you need. Go plan a wedding with that thief of yours. I\u2019ll stay over at the Bee and Barb and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into until after the ceremony.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked at him, marveling at how hard it must have been for him to say so. He had changed so much since she first met him.\u00a0 He seemed so much stronger.\u00a0 Maybe this is how he\u2019d always been, but it had been buried under the mine and the mead.<\/p>\n She thought for a moment. \u201cI still don\u2019t really understand why Brynjolf did this, bringing you here.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi smiled, sadly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s easy to understand. He wants you to be sure. He loves you and he wants you to be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n That observation caught Dag off guard, startled yet again by how perceptive Brynjolf really was.\u00a0 He truly had a gift. But the implications of that observation were enormous. Did Brynjolf really have any doubt? Did she?<\/p>\n Change the subject, Dag, she thought. Change the subject before we have to travel farther down this road.\u00a0 \u201cTell me about Briinda.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d He looked at her, surprised, thinking, and then nodded. \u201cWell I suppose it\u2019s only fair.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi was quiet for a long few moments, looking out over the lake.\u00a0 He took a drink, then set the bottle on the railing of the porch and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d he began slowly, \u201cI told you how we were Stormcloaks. Me and Briinda.\u00a0 A couple of true Nords fighting for our homeland. She was so strong. She was this little \u2026 spitfire.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled, gently.<\/p>\n Then he launched into one of his stories, full of sounds and pictures, told with great care and love.\u00a0 Dag could almost see them, serving on guard duty at the fort on the Eastmarch side of the river near that broken-down prison that he had known in better days, skirmishing with occasional Imperial patrols, and shooting the breeze in between battles.\u00a0 She could picture him watching Briinda\u2019s back when he should have been watching his own.\u00a0 She laughed at the mental picture of the little blonde Nord with no fear and a wicked bow dragging him all over Skyrim and south into Cyrodill, singing for him around the campfires, coaxing him into the bedroll with her even though the younger Roggi didn\u2019t think it was proper.\u00a0 She imagined Roggi following along, sometimes nearly in bewilderment, particularly on the day when Briinda bounced all around him on the road, saying \u201cRoggi! Marry me, Roggi.\u00a0 Come on, marry me.\u00a0 Be my husband.\u00a0 Let\u2019s do it.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi smiled, but he looked so very sad. He leaned forward and propped his arms on his knees, looking out over the lake.<\/p>\n \u201cWe did it, all right,\u201d he said softly.\u00a0 \u201cShe talked me into it.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t hard.\u00a0 We actually got married in Cyrodiil, about a year before that trip to Riften. Only Kjeld knew about it, because he\u2019s my oldest friend and in spite of my better judgment I tell him things. After we left the Stormcloaks, I talked to the priests here, and they agreed to our little plan to stage a proper wedding with the family and friends, here in Riften.\u00a0 It was going to be quite the affair for a little clan from Kynesgrove. But\u2026 then we got ambushed on the road. I told you that part before. You wouldn\u2019t have thought we had enough to be a good target, but it seems we did.\u201d<\/p>\n Dag gasped. \u201cYou\u2026were married?\u201d\u00a0 That certainly shed some light on why Roggi had gotten so flustered every time someone assumed they were a couple.<\/p>\n Roggi\u2019s voice got softer, his eyes far away.\u00a0 He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cI tried so hard to save them, Dag. I fought so hard. You know I can fight, but it just wasn\u2019t enough. She could, too, but she didn\u2019t have a chance; they caught her from behind. I swear to you that they wounded me so badly I really thought I was done for, or I\u2019d have fought till I was. I watched her die.\u00a0 My parents, my family.\u00a0 My wife. All I could do in the end was pretend to be dead myself. I felt \u2026 like I had failed all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n He frowned. He had the look of a man who had already cried every tear he could possibly cry over that day and was surprised that there were no more.\u00a0 His voice dropped yet again, quieter, darker.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess I was dead for a long while after that, really. Something happened to me, Dag. I\u2019m not sure what. I went out looking for those bandits and I made them suffer.\u00a0 Every one of them.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even know how I was able to do what I did to them all, but let\u2019s just say that I\u2019m very good at inflicting pain, now. It\u2019s\u2026 an art form, if you do it right. I told you before. They got what they deserved.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head.<\/p>\n The hair rose on the back of Dag\u2019s neck. She thought back to all the enemies she\u2019d seen Roggi kill on the road, to him breaking Rolff\u2019s nose without a second thought, and thought yes, now I understand, and I know how that feels. I felt like that with Mercer, at the end. It was unsettling, though, to think of funny, sweet Roggi purposefully making the bandits suffer. The jokes, the stories.\u00a0 They were a mask to hide behind.\u00a0 She knew how it felt.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I was crazy. I know I was crazy. And then\u2026 I\u2019m not sure why I thought drowning myself in a mead barrel was going to help.\u00a0 It never does, no matter how many times I\u2019ve tried it. All it does is postpone the pain for a little while. I still love the stuff, and I always will, but I got carried away.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked sideways at her.\u00a0 \u201cSo, now you know all of it. You see what a good man I really am. You\u2019re not the only one who kept secrets.\u201d<\/p>\n Dag was stunned. Even with all he had told her earlier, she hadn\u2019t imagined the true extent of what had happened to him.<\/p>\n \u201cBy the Eight, Roggi.\u00a0 That\u2019s terrible.\u00a0 They killed\u2026your wife<\/em>? But why didn\u2019t you tell me this before?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d he said slowly, \u201cpeople in Skyrim only get married once, if they get married.\u00a0 Just once.\u00a0 I \u2026 after Nilheim, I hoped that maybe \u2026 if you didn\u2019t know.\u201c He looked at her, apologetic.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what I was trying to tell you that day when we got back here, and I\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m a selfish man. But I figured that Kjeld wouldn\u2019t say anything. He\u2019s always after me to get myself another woman. Gods know being married doesn\u2019t hold him<\/em> back.\u201d<\/p>\n Dag was stunned, yet again.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s terrible,\u201d she said again.<\/p>\n \u201cI know. I\u2019m not very proud of myself, to be plain about it. And we won\u2019t talk about Kjeld.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, not you, you oaf,\u201d she said, swatting at his arm.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s terrible that a person could be left alone and then be, well, left alone. That\u2019s just a horrible tradition.\u201d<\/p>\n She sighed. \u201cBut, Roggi. No matter how hard you try to deny it you are a good man. If you weren\u2019t, you wouldn\u2019t care. Don\u2019t you see that?\u00a0 There are so many terrible people in this world, who have done terrible things, and they don\u2019t even care what pain they might have inflicted on someone else.\u00a0 You do. You deserve to be happy.\u00a0 You deserve much better than me. I\u2019m a\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n You\u2019re a killer<\/em>, the voice in her head told her.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m just nothing but a stray and a thief. I\u2019m so very sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n He gazed at her for a long moment, then shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 It\u2019s ok. It\u2019s been good to remember how to fight. It\u2019s good to be able to feel things again. It\u2019s good to have myself back again. I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d He reached for her hand and squeezed it, smiling.<\/p>\n Dag found herself nearly in tears again. Her small voice was prodding her, for once not sarcastic, just insistent. How can you give up this man? Brynjolf knows how it is, you know how it is.\u00a0 Brynjolf isn\u2019t right for you. Roggi is.\u00a0 Don\u2019t waste this chance. Bryn will understand.<\/em> He would, too. She knew that with a certainty. In spite of their having barely acknowledged their own love Brynjolf wanted her to be certain.<\/p>\n Yes, being in love was like finding the piece you didn\u2019t know was missing. But her problem, she realized in dismay as she looked at Roggi, was that there had been two pieces of her missing.\u00a0 One of them was waiting to marry her, and one of them was sitting here right now, radiating affection. And she loved both of them. If he hadn\u2019t left that day, she probably would be married to him now, and she knew that with a certainty as well.<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t trust this voice, never had, but it was impossible to ignore it.<\/p>\n She squeezed his hand back, swallowed the enormous knot in her throat, and said quietly, \u201cI don\u2019t want you to go, Roggi. I don\u2019t want to be alone tonight.\u00a0 Stay here with me.\u201d<\/p>\n He was startled. Then he shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t think that would be a good idea,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Roggi. I just want to be near you. I have a spare bedroom, you can stay there.\u201d<\/p>\n He was silent for several long moments, emotions flickering across his face. Sadness, longing, dismay.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think \u2026 I could promise to just be near you,\u201d he finally said, quietly. \u201cYou keep telling me I\u2019m a good man, but I\u2019m not. I\u2019m selfish, Dag. If I stay here I\u2019m going to do everything I possibly can to change your mind about marrying Brynjolf, and it probably won\u2019t end well for any of us. He doesn\u2019t deserve that. I like the man I met at the inn, even if he is a thief.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at her and smiled. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to make things better, and I don\u2019t want you to throw away your future for me. I\u2019m going to go back to the inn.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry, I won\u2019t leave before your wedding. \u00a0Hear me though. \u00a0I may not ever be your husband but I am your friend, and I always will be.\u201d<\/p>\n He stood, leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, then walked back through the house and toward the inn.\u00a0 Dag watched him go, wondering how she had managed to do something so wrong and feel so little in its wake.\u00a0 I should feel bad about even suggesting it, Dag thought.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t.\u00a0 She sat for a long time, thinking.<\/p>\n And the more she thought, the more unpleasant the thoughts became.<\/p>\n I\u2019m the selfish one.\u00a0 I want them both.<\/p>\n But Roggi hated thieves and bandits.\u00a0 And she was the future master of the Thieves Guild.<\/p>\n Dag reached into the cupboard and pulled out another mead bottle, then went to the back porch and sat with it and her thoughts for a long time.\u00a0 Yes, she did feel bad about suggesting Roggi stay.\u00a0 It was a horrible thing to have considered doing to both him and Brynjolf.\u00a0 Because she had no doubt that if he had stayed, there was only one way things would have gone, and she wouldn\u2019t have had the tiniest shred of guilt about it.<\/p>\n Well I guess they picked the right person to lead the Guild, she thought bitterly.\u00a0 Brynjolf cares too much about his people to do it and apparently I don\u2019t care enough.\u00a0 Maybe Mercer was right, and there\u2019s not much difference between him and me. It wasn\u2019t her other voice speaking, for once.<\/p>\n They spent the rest of the day telling stories, laughing, walking around Riften and along the lake arm in arm. They made a stop at the meadery and spent several hours enjoying the brews. \u00a0At the end of it, they sat on the porch of Honeyside, watching the sunset, and Dagnell marveled at how different … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/baakay.com\/FanFic\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/1-2-25-4.png\")
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<\/p>\nPart II: Shadows<\/a><\/div>\nPrevious<\/a> \/ Next<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"