Dardeh smiled at him, and as usual Roggi felt his heart twist up into a knot of something that wavered between happiness and sorrow. Happiness because he had never loved anyone as deeply as he loved Dardeh, and that smile was the one thing that made his life complete.\u00a0 Sorrow, because, well\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cRoggi, we\u2019ve been over this a dozen times. You know it has to happen. I can sit back and watch the world burn or I can apply my power to the problem and help this conflict end. Finally.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve already saved the world once, my love. It doesn\u2019t always have to be on your shoulders to carry the weight.\u201d<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it does.\u201d Dardeh shook his head and reached for Roggi\u2019s hands. \u201cI know I sound like an arrogant bastard when I say this, but you know as well as I do that nobody else can do what I can do. I was the only one who could get Miraak killed, too, and for the same reasons. Hermaeus Mora had to think he had a replacement, and I\u2019m the only other Dragonborn. It has to be me. Nobody else can absorb the dragons, and nobody else has the number and power of Shouts that I have.\u201d He grinned. \u201cAs much as it irks Ulfric to know that, it\u2019s the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s where the sorrow comes in.\u00a0 Some day I\u2019m going to lose him because he\u2019s the Last Dragonborn, and he\u2019s going to stretch himself too far. I know it. And I can\u2019t bear thinking about it. <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cBesides,\u201d Dardeh said with a sardonic little grin, \u201cit\u2019s going to look like it\u2019s all Ulfric\u2019s doing if I can handle it right. He\u2019ll be the target of people\u2019s hate and people\u2019s adoration, not me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDar.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell I sure don\u2019t want anyone looking at me to be King, or Emperor, or\u2026 Jarl or anything like that. Thane is bad enough. I hate it.\u201d He dropped Roggi\u2019s hands and sighed heavily. \u201cRoggi, do you remember what he said to us, that day we came to see him before? I\u2019ve never forgotten it. He asked you how it was that you would follow someone who was so strong but afraid to choose a side.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi grimaced. Yes, and he was making assumptions about my feelings for Dardeh that turned out to be correct in the long run. Self-righteous asshole. It still makes me fume that he knew it before I did. <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I remember. I remember everything about that day vividly. Until we got to about the sixth or seventh mead later on.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned sheepishly. \u201cBut that still doesn\u2019t mean you have to go to war for him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, it by itself doesn\u2019t mean that. But I have to do something, finally.\u201d Dardeh\u2019s expression grew hard. It wasn\u2019t an expression Roggi had seen from him often, and not one he enjoyed seeing. \u201cI\u2019ve been walking past dead soldiers and stepping over the wreckage of battle for too long, Roggi, and I\u2019ve seen the spirits of those people, in\u2026\u201d\u00a0 He trailed off, and shook his head. \u201cWell, that\u2019s different now. But I can\u2019t sit back and do nothing. Not anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, love.\u201d\u00a0 Roggi heaved a sigh. \u201cAnd I can\u2019t let you do it alone. I\u2019ve seen even more of those battlefields than you have. Fighting dragons with you has made me strong. I can\u2019t justify sitting back like an old man and saying I\u2019m retired \u2013 I\u2019m ten years younger than Ulfric, after all. If nothing else I can stand between you and that pompous bastard so you don\u2019t end up with his blood on your hands.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh took his hands again and peered at him.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you going to be alright? Is this too hard for you?\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi had been thinking about it all the way from Falkreath, and he\u2019d been both surprised and pleased by the conclusions he\u2019d reached. He smiled at his husband and shook his head.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t worry about me, Dar. I\u2019m not the same guy I was back then. Aren\u2019t you the one who keeps telling me not to forget that I fought Alduin? I did those things. That is<\/em> me.\u00a0 And I was<\/em> a Stormcloak, before we lost Briinda. I believed in what we were doing then and I still do, Dar, even if I have a less than favorable view of the man who leads the charge and his more extreme notions about Dunmer and everything else. I\u2019m stronger than I was back then. And I have you.\u201d He squeezed Dardeh\u2019s hand. \u201cI\u2019ll be just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh surprised him by pulling him into a long kiss, right there in front of the palace, regardless of who might be watching. Roggi had a hard time pulling himself away when it was over; but he did, and he smiled at his husband, and nodded toward the door.<\/p>\n \u201cWell then, let\u2019s go get ourselves some cheap blue armor.\u201d<\/p>\n He laughed as the door swung open and he heard Dardeh making distressed noises behind him. There was no possibility either one of them \u2013 but particularly not Dardeh \u2013 was going to wear the flimsy, colorful uniform that Roggi had once worn proudly as a younger man.<\/p>\n They strode toward the throne. Roggi breathed deeply, but quietly. It didn\u2019t matter how brave the words were that he\u2019d told Dardeh; it didn\u2019t matter how many years it had been. The sight of Ulfric on his throne still had the power to make his pulse race, still brought up feelings that he wished he had actually managed to push as far away as he pretended to have pushed them.<\/p>\n The worst of it is I still hate him, and I still\u2026 don\u2019t. It makes no sense. But I suppose that\u2019s just the way it\u2019s always going to be. We have the upper hand this time. I have to just focus on that.<\/em><\/p>\n He saw Ulfric\u2019s gaze focus on him for a moment as they approached, saw the flicker of surprise that lasted only a fraction of a moment, and then saw him look at Dardeh. His expression changed from surprise to wariness.<\/p>\n \u201cDragonborn,\u201d Ulfric said quietly. \u201cTo what do we owe this great honor?\u201d His words were cordial, but his eyes were narrowed and his expression cold.<\/p>\n Roggi glanced at Dardeh and flinched.\u00a0 Dardeh\u2019s expression was equally cold and hard. Roggi had not seen this side of Dardeh more than a couple of times.<\/p>\n He always says that he has a dark side, and that I help him control it. I always find that hard to believe. But this face\u2026 He truly hates Ulfric. Maybe more than I do.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cJarl Ulfric,\u201d Dardeh said, nodding. \u201cI\u2019ll get right to the point. I know that the truce has broken and a battle is imminent. I told you a long time ago that if I had to, I would pick a side, and so I have. I\u2019m here to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric raised one eyebrow. \u201cInteresting. And on what basis do you reach those conclusions?\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi held his breath. They\u2019d agreed that it was imperative they not mention that he and Brynjolf had seen Frina carrying Ulfric\u2019s battle axe. He didn\u2019t know how far Ulfric\u2019s anger would push him, if he knew that, but he did know that at the very least Frina would be removed from the Stormcloaks if he found out. Neither of them wanted to be responsible for that. And yet here they were, and everything about Ulfric\u2019s attitude was exactly the kind of thing that would set Dardeh\u2019s dragonfire alight.<\/p>\n Dardeh never changed his expression.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know that I was a Thane in Whiterun when I lived there. My housecarl \u2013 my former<\/em> housecarl \u2013 was originally attached to Balgruuf\u2019s household before he assigned her to me. She\u2019s been recalled to help defend Whiterun against an imminent attack. There\u2019s only one place that attack could be coming from.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric was quiet for a moment. He turned his attention to Roggi, looking thoughtful.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you, Roggi?\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi found himself staring into the eyes he knew so very well. He couldn\u2019t help but wonder whether there would ever come a time when he didn\u2019t remember all the bad times \u2013 and the good ones as well \u2013 when he looked at the man. But, he noted, he wasn\u2019t shaking. He wasn\u2019t afraid this time, of either Ulfric or himself. And that was a very good thing indeed.<\/p>\n There are so many questions you want to ask me, aren\u2019t there, Ulfric? But you can\u2019t, and you won\u2019t. And I won\u2019t answer them even if you do.\u00a0 You lost your right to ask me those things long, long ago.<\/em><\/p>\n He found himself smiling slightly.\u00a0 Yes, this will be alright. I can do this.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAnd me, Ulfric. It\u2019s time this conflict came to an end. I haven\u2019t changed my feelings about the Thalmor in the past dozen years.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric stared at him for a long few moments, and then looked back at Dardeh.<\/p>\n \u201cVery well. Only a fool would turn down such experienced assistance, and let it not be said that I am a fool. Let\u2019s go see Galmar.\u201d<\/p>\n He rose from his throne and moved quietly into the war room. Roggi glanced at Dardeh, but couldn\u2019t get him to make eye contact.<\/p>\n He looks more like someone about to perform an assassination than to join an army. There must have been so much more said between these two than Dar\u2019s ever told me about. They really can\u2019t stand each other, can they?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cGalmar,\u201d Ulfric called out as he passed through the door. \u201cI have some new recruits for you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGood!\u201d Galmar said. He was standing with Yrsarald Thrice-Pierced, who Roggi remembered as a competent but unremarkable low-ranking officer from his earlier days as a soldier. He clearly had risen to a position of trust, going over battle plans with Ulfric\u2019s right-hand man. Galmar looked up from the map and saw Roggi, and then stared at Ulfric.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you taken leave of your senses, Ulfric,\u201d he said, and it wasn\u2019t quite a question. \u201cRoggi? And the Dragonborn?\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric smirked. \u201cYes, Galmar. They\u2019ve come to offer their assistance.\u201d He turned to Roggi and quirked his head to one side. \u201cSo. Shall I have Galmar administer the oath?\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi laughed. \u201cYou heard the words once before, Ulfric. I don\u2019t think my voice is beautiful enough that you need to hear me sing a second time. I\u2019m here, I\u2019m back, and that will have to be good enough. There\u2019s only one condition.\u201d<\/p>\n Galmar practically choked. \u201cCondition? You\u2019re going to make demands<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n He grinned. \u201cYes, Galmar, I\u2019m going to make demands.\u201d He caught Ulfric\u2019s gaze and held it. \u201cI\u2019ll do what you need me to do in this effort, Ulfric. You know my skill set.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh gasped. \u201cRoggi\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi held up his hand, to cut him off. \u201cI have more connections now than I used to. I think you\u2019ll find my services to be very beneficial. But when there\u2019s a battle? Like the one coming up? I go where Dardeh goes. That\u2019s not negotiable. I also happen to be a much better fighter these days than I once was, so you\u2019ll be happy I\u2019m there, I promise you that.\u201d<\/p>\n He watched as Ulfric\u2019s eyes narrowed.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not how this works, soldier,\u201d Galmar snapped. \u201cYou know better than that.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric waved at Galmar. \u201cEnough, Galmar. You have my agreement, Roggi.\u201d<\/p>\n Then, as Galmar sputtered, Ulfric turned to Dardeh.<\/p>\n \u201cNow then, Dragonborn. Tell me why I should trust you when you had a member of Balgruuf\u2019s household in your own.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh laughed. It was a bark of a laugh, deep and sarcastic.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a fair question. The answer is simple. My mother raised me as a Nord. I worship Talos, Ulfric. I refuse to let anyone \u2013 elves or otherwise \u2013 tell me I cannot do so and it\u2019s high time they stopped thinking they had the right to tell anyone else that, either. The Thalmor need to be sent back to where they came from.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric took a few steps away from the table, his arms crossed and his head down, clearly deep in thought.\u00a0 He turned to face Dardeh again.<\/p>\n \u201cBut why you, Dragonborn? There has been no love lost between us.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh didn\u2019t miss a beat. \u201cI\u2019m not doing this for you<\/em>, Ulfric.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing it for Skyrim. And for freedom. And because I am uniquely qualified to help bring this whole bloody mess to a conclusion more quickly than it would be otherwise, so that we lose as few people as possible.\u201d\u00a0 He looked down and sighed, then met Ulfric\u2019s gaze again. \u201cAnd because, damn it all, whether I like it or not you have the claim and the right to be High King. It\u2019s time this was settled in the honorable way; and since they won\u2019t agree to it peacefully, I\u2019m feeling like shouting at them until they will.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned. \u201cAnd hey, if that doesn\u2019t work I have a friend named Odahviing \u2013 big, red, breathes fire and all that. He\u2019d be willing to help, too, if I Shout for him.\u00a0 Last resort, don\u2019t you know.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric\u2019s mouth fell open for a moment, and his eyes widened.\u00a0 Then he chuckled.<\/p>\n \u201cThat sounds good to me, Dragonborn. Galmar will administer the oath.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh shook his head. \u201cOh no. No oaths from me. You can take me or leave me.\u201d<\/p>\n Yrsarald stepped back from the map table and evaporated around the corner of the room.\u00a0 Wise man, Roggi thought. He saw a storm coming and decided to seek shelter.<\/p>\n He sighed. \u201cDar\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh turned and growled at him. \u201cI\u2019m not kidding, Roggi. Dovahkiin swears no oaths.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi waved a hand in the air. \u201cI know, I know.\u201d\u00a0 He looked at Galmar. \u201cI need to go check on something, Galmar. Run Dar through his paces. Trust me, he\u2019s in this for the long haul, otherwise we wouldn\u2019t be here. Most stubborn half a Nord I ever met in my life. Half Nord, half dragon. It couldn\u2019t possibly be any worse.\u201d<\/p>\n He turned and walked out of the room grinning, hearing Galmar complain that he didn\u2019t know what Dardeh could do that was so special.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t gotten more than halfway down the long hall when the walls shook.<\/p>\n \u201cMUL- QAH DIIV!\u201d<\/p>\n He started laughing. Dragon Aspect. Perfect. I wonder how brown old Galmar\u2019s armor is right now.<\/em><\/p>\n He made his way through the barracks, nodding at the soldiers stationed there. Most of them were far too young to know who he was but one or two of them, the ones with salt-and-pepper hair, widened their eyes and shrank back just a bit as he passed them. He turned the corner and descended into the dungeon.<\/p>\n There were no prisoners in the cells, and the jailer was yawning. Roggi walked around the space, slowly, taking stock of the condition of the room that had once been his workplace. He noted that there was only the smallest amount of blood on the racks and that old and dried. The tools atop nearby bales of hay and crates were old and dirty, and not the caliber of the lovingly tended set he\u2019d given to Sayma.<\/p>\n Nobody\u2019s been doing any work down here recently, I see. Time to make a quick trip to the house in Kynesgrove. <\/em><\/p>\n He wrinkled his nose at the thought. He\u2019d made quite the show of giving up his tool kit, saying that he didn\u2019t need it any longer. While he had meant that, every word of it, he hadn\u2019t mentioned the matching kit stored in the chest in his home. He\u2019d always had two sets of tools, just in case.<\/p>\n I never have gotten used to telling anyone the entire truth. Not even Dardeh. I used to be afraid he would leave me because of that, but I know better now.<\/em><\/p>\n He picked up a set of old, crude pliers from atop a barrel and examined them absently.<\/p>\n So, Galathil, it seems you were not my last client after all.\u00a0 Who would have thought?<\/em><\/p>\n There was a rustling sound behind him.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have time to turn before a familiar scent filled his nostrils and a large, warm hand rested on his shoulder and squeezed gently.<\/p>\n Oh gods. Not this.<\/em><\/p>\n He closed his eyes and, as if from a distance, noticed how his stomach did a flip and his heart rate sped up, his body treating the situation as though there had never been that moment years before when he had said Enough. No more.<\/em> But he didn\u2019t move, didn\u2019t react, forced himself not to.<\/p>\n Not this. Not now. Not ever. This is the line across which I will not step.<\/em><\/p>\n He cleared his throat and spoke, gently. He used the voice that belonged to the man who had spent years tying people to these racks and carefully analyzing what he could do to them that would inflict the most pain.<\/p>\n \u201cUlfric. Take your hand from my shoulder, or I will take it from your arm.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a moment of utter silence. Then the hand dropped from his shoulder, and a small, distant part of Roggi sighed in disappointment.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course. You have my apologies. I just wanted to know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi took a deep mental breath to prepare and then turned to face Ulfric. He studied the Jarl\u2019s face, but in the darkness it was hard to know exactly what he saw. He looks lonely, Roggi thought. Maybe that\u2019s why he followed me. Galmar and I are two of the people who know him best and Galmar isn\u2019t a warm man.<\/p>\n Or maybe he just wants to see how well he\u2019s going to be able to manipulate me. That seems more likely.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYou wanted to know what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhether you can really do it again, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh, you have no idea what I am capable of, Ulfric. None at all.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d He looked down at the pliers in his hand and had an idea, and grinned. \u201cI wonder what thing \u2018it\u2019 refers to. I have my suspicions about that. But you see, my Jarl, you\u2019re overlooking something important.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric\u2019s eyebrows rose just a bit. \u201cWhat would that be?\u201d he asked, his tone sarcastic.<\/p>\n Roggi reached out and took Ulfric\u2019s hand, gently raising it up, smiling. He gazed into Ulfric\u2019s eyes and saw the confusion, knew his own eyes must be sparkling.<\/p>\n What does it mean? That\u2019s what you\u2019re wondering, isn\u2019t it. Am I going to take your hand and kiss your palm, do the things you used to like so much? <\/em><\/p>\n Ha.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWell, you see, you have overlooked this lovely band on my finger. See that? You recognize what that means, yes?\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric frowned. \u201cOf course. It means that you\u2019re married.\u201d He started to pull his hand away but Roggi gripped it tighter, and smiled. Ulfric really had no idea how strong he was, but he was about to find out.<\/p>\n \u201cYes. That\u2019s what it means. I\u2019m married to Dardeh. And I love that man with everything I am. I know that probably disappoints you but it\u2019s the truth.\u201d He chuckled. \u201cYou knew I loved him before I did, Ulfric. You should feel proud of yourself for that moment of insight. It was really very well done.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric frowned, his confusion seemingly giving way to an understanding with which he wasn\u2019t happy.\u00a0 Roggi smiled again.<\/p>\n He brought the other hand, holding the pliers, up toward Ulfric\u2019s hand and maneuvered them to grasp the end of one of his fingernails. He spoke, using his most soothing and intensely frightening voice as he did so.<\/p>\n \u201cYou also overlooked the fact that part of what I am is a person with a very useful tool in my hand at the moment. You never did spend any time finding out what it is that I enjoy, Ulfric. You were too busy making certain that I pleased you. What if I were to tell you that one of my favorite things in the world is to take a fingernail, like this, and pull it out. Little bit by little bit. They usually start screaming not too long into the process but the real trick, the sign of a real artist, is to make that music last. I am a very, very good artist, Ulfric. That\u2019s why some of your men tried to sink back into the walls when I came in here. They remember.\u201d<\/p>\n As he spoke, he applied pressure to Ulfric\u2019s nail. He had no intention of actually harming Ulfric, at least not physically; but he stared at him, intently, and considered the effect he was having.<\/p>\n He\u2019s determined, isn\u2019t he? He\u2019s decided he\u2019s not going to react. But he\u2019s forgetting how many nights he spent telling me about being tortured by the Thalmor.\u00a0 He\u2019s starting to sweat and it\u2019s not going to take long before he cracks. <\/em><\/p>\n Damn, I don\u2019t need my tool kit. I can torture him just by using my voice. This is so much better than killing him would ever be.<\/em><\/p>\n By the gods, this is fun. <\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s not a good thing that this is fun.<\/em><\/p>\n He pulled a bit more strongly, and Ulfric hissed.<\/p>\n \u201cEnough, Roggi. I have gotten your message, loud and clear.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi dropped Ulfric\u2019s hand and smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cI do hope so. You followed me to wonder whether I could still do this? Of course I can. I could have pulled that nail out before you could blink. The last man I worked with had a thumb go missing in less time than that. Oh, I wouldn\u2019t really have hurt you, you know. At least I think I wouldn\u2019t have.\u201d Ulfric swallowed, and Roggi chuckled. \u201cDon\u2019t underestimate me, Ulfric. If you need someone pressured, I can and will apply the pressure for you.\u201d<\/p>\n He reached out and pushed one finger into Ulfric\u2019s chest, dropping all pretense of humor and letting his voice turn raw and harsh.<\/p>\n \u201cBut you will never have me<\/em> again.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric stared at him for a moment, his face frozen, looking as though he wanted to say something but not being able to formulate the words. His eyes, though, told Roggi that he\u2019d been right.\u00a0 After all these years, Ulfric still had a weakness for him that he\u2019d never admitted to himself.\u00a0 And he was shocked to realize it.<\/p>\n I knew that, that first day Dar and I went to see him together. Even though I was terrified I knew it. He couldn\u2019t take his eyes off me, and it wasn\u2019t all him trying to exert his power. The man still wants me, after all these years.\u00a0 Ha.<\/em><\/p>\n Finally Ulfric simply nodded, then turned and swept away, back to his throne room. Roggi turned and stared at the rack again.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t believe I did that.<\/em><\/p>\n Yes I can. It felt so good.<\/em><\/p>\n Gods.<\/em><\/p>\n A few moments later he heard the unmistakable sounds of Dardeh\u2019s heavy armor as he made his way across the room.\u00a0 Roggi smiled to himself; Dardeh would never succeed in any kind of venture that required stealth, not ever.<\/p>\n \u201cRoggi.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n He turned his head and looked at the man he loved more than anything else in the world. Both of us are going to be put to the test, he thought. Dar\u2019s afraid of what might happen when he kills, and I\u2019ve just proven once more that it would be good to be afraid of me, too.\u00a0 I wonder if we\u2019ll survive this.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, Dar. But I\u2019ll do my best as long as you\u2019re with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh just nodded. He gathered Roggi up into an embrace; Roggi rested his head on Dardeh\u2019s shoulder and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n How different it is, a touch that is nothing but love, than the kind of touch Ulfric gave. Dardeh can be every bit as sensual as Ulfric ever was \u2013 and more – but he has this. This power to comfort, to share thoughts without speaking, to reassure me that I am the most important thing to at least one other person in the world. I will protect this man until my last breath.<\/em><\/p>\n After a few moments, Dardeh\u2019s dark voice rumbled next to Roggi\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go find out what Galmar wants us to do.\u00a0 He had to step out of the room for a moment after I showed him Dragon Aspect.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi threw his head back and chortled.<\/p>\n \u201cPerfect.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you really sure you want to do this, Dar?\u201d I have to at least try to talk him out of it one last time. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s a snowball\u2019s chance in Oblivion that I\u2019ll succeed, but I have to try. Dardeh smiled at him, and as usual Roggi felt his heart twist up … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/baakay.com\/FanFic\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/4-2-3-2.png\")
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