He\u2019d gotten very little rest the previous night for all the tumultuous thoughts roiling through his head.\u00a0 When he had finally slipped into the bed, Brynjolf had roused just enough to pull him close and wrap him up in an embrace, then had fallen asleep again; but even that comforting contact hadn\u2019t relaxed him enough to quiet the noise in his mind.\u00a0 He\u2019d thought of Alessia Previa, and the Afflicted man he\u2019d killed for no good reason, out in the Reach.<\/p>\n
I know what Brynjolf would say about my previous life. He would tell me that I\u2019m a thief, and an assassin, and a vampire, and all of those require killing. He would say it\u2019s just part of my job. But it\u2019s not true. It might have been the case once, when I was younger, but it\u2019s not anymore. It\u2019s not true that I only kill for other people, or to defend myself.\u00a0 What about all those soldiers, and bandits, and others I\u2019ve found walking along the road and have drained of their blood?<\/em><\/p>\n He lay there for a long time with Vitus\u2019 memories playing out through the night. He was a killer. He was good at it. He\u2019d always been good at it and he had never stopped, not once, to wonder whether or not it was right to do such things. The Listener, and the others in the Brotherhood, had told him it was all for Sithis, but he didn\u2019t care about that and never had. He took the actions that led to a reward, regardless of what those actions were.<\/p>\n And then there was the life he\u2019d led since becoming Andante.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t say that he had only killed for honest reasons, not really. The more he thought about it, the more disturbed he was.<\/p>\n Hundreds of them, there have been.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t kill them all, but I did kill a great many of them. There was no reason for it aside from satisfying my own desire to become powerful.<\/em><\/p>\n And I didn\u2019t feel sad for them. I still don\u2019t, really. I wonder why this bothers me now. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n He shook his head as they approached the turnoff to Anga.\u00a0 They\u2019d left behind the snow-covered rocks of the higher elevations.\u00a0 Here, it was soft and green, the scents of Cyrodiil familiar and comforting. Birds twittered their sleepy morning songs as they prepared for another day of catching insects. The sun filtered down through aspen leaves of both green and bronze.\u00a0 The ground was covered with leaf litter and many types of fungus; and where they walked, their feet released the damp, musty odor of decaying leaf litter. Grasses grew tall, and shrubs and saplings lined the trail leading farther downhill.\u00a0 He would have smiled but for the thoughts crowding his head.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it, lad? You\u2019ve been frowning ever since last night.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante smiled at him. Whatever else is true about him, you can\u2019t argue that Brynjolf isn\u2019t good at reading people.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI always frown, Brynjolf.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not true, and you know it. Did you remember something?\u201d<\/p>\n Andante nodded. \u201cI did. And I\u2019m not happy with myself.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced sideways at Brynjolf.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not a good person, Bryn.\u201d<\/p>\n They passed the exterior of the Ayleid ruins, looking carefully and quietly around the bleached stones of the structure but not going inside.\u00a0 Brynjolf pointed east; there was a narrow but distinct path heading in that direction.\u00a0 He waited until they\u2019d gotten well past the ruins of Anga to speak again.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2019Good\u2019 is a relative term, Andante. I don\u2019t know that either one of us is in a position to be the judge of it. But you are <\/em>the one with Auriel\u2019s Bow,\u201d he said, nodding at the weapon in Andante\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n \u201cAh,\u201d he said, looking down at it. \u201cSun\u2019s starting to get up there. I wondered whether I should block it for the day.\u201d\u00a0 He peered up through the trees. \u201cBut I can\u2019t get a good bead on where it is, and I don\u2019t want to waste arrows.\u00a0 Serana\u2019s angry enough with me as it is.\u00a0 So much for the power of being Lord of the Volkihar clan, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell,\u201d Brynjolf said, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t expect much from them right away if I were you. This kind of thing we\u2019re doing now, the little jobs; they\u2019re going to show them that you\u2019re good at what you do and not to be taken lightly.\u00a0 Some day they\u2019ll treat you like a king. In the meantime,\u201d he grinned, \u201cyou\u2019ll just have to rely on me to be impressed.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante did smile at that.\u00a0 \u201cYou really do treat me well, loverboy, I have to admit it. I don\u2019t know why you stay with me, but I\u2019ll have it.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t know how to explain it, lad. It\u2019s just the way things are.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante was about to deliver a clever but sarcastic reply when he heard the familiar snorts and growls of a troll ahead and to their left.\u00a0 He pulled out his axe and went after it, feeling more than hearing Brynjolf following behind him. The troll wasn\u2019t a normal one; it had horns, and its fangs and claws were longer and, he thought, likely much sharper than those of a normal troll. It smelled worse than a standard troll as well, he discovered as they neared it, and he thought briefly of the Dawnguard blacksmith they\u2019d heard complaining. Still, they were able to down it without so much as a scratch.<\/p>\n Andante looked around and saw an animal trail.\u00a0 Beyond, in a glade below and ahead of them, was a small area with fog lying close to the ground.\u00a0 He pointed at it.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know whether it\u2019s a creek, but it\u2019s definitely water. And I think I can hear Nirnroot, even from here. What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s check it out,\u201d Brynjolf said.<\/p>\n There was, as it happened, a tiny, shallow stream wending its way around a short dirt mound near the outsized Nirnroot they\u2019d heard emitting the plant\u2019s distinctive, ringing hum. There was also an elk, trumpeting loudly, standing guard over the bloody corpse of a poor soul who\u2019d been collecting mushrooms judging by the spilled sample and the overturned basket nearby.<\/p>\n \u201cThat says spriggan to me,\u201d Andante whispered. \u201cLook at the odd aura on that guy.\u201d The elk had a strange, shimmering green glow about it. Spriggans were known to influence the wildlife nearby, turning usually placid or timid animals into aggressive enemies, and it was clear that this elk was one of those. \u201cBut where is the spriggan?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOver here,\u201d Brynjolf said, raising his sword and rushing toward a dark brown spriggan behind Andante\u2019s left shoulder.\u00a0 Andante grabbed his axe and was about to assist Brynjolf; but the elk bugled at him again and a second spriggan appeared, this one the color of the birch from which it had emerged. It stepped into view with the sound of angry bees that meant it was about to cast a poison spell at Andante, and raised its limbs.<\/p>\n \u201cGreat,\u201d he muttered, dodging sideways.\u00a0 I was going to avoid the elk but there\u2019s no ignoring spriggans. <\/em>It wasn\u2019t as though the creature was that difficult to defeat, his axe being the powerful tool it was.\u00a0 He had no quarrel with them; they were creatures of nature, and he found them fascinating and lovely. But they were single-minded and would not back down once engaged.\u00a0 He grimaced as he brought the creature down, then turned to see Brynjolf doing the same.<\/p>\n \u201cI think that\u2019s it then. The amulet must be on\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat one there,\u201d Brynjolf said, pointing at a third spriggan, a larger one that stepped out from a tree on the far side of the bugling elk.\u00a0 Andante sprinted for the spriggan, muttering \u201cI\u2019m not going to hurt you, buddy,\u201d to the elk as he ran past. He met Brynjolf there and they took turns leaping forward to attack the spriggan and then retreating until it, too, was finished.<\/p>\n Andante stood over the body of the spriggan and frowned at the angry elk, who seemed not remotely readly to let them examine the corpse of the alchemist.<\/p>\n \u201cShoo,\u201d he snarled.\u00a0 The elk bugled again.<\/p>\n \u201cDamn it, Bryn, can you get near that thing? That\u2019s got to be the person who has the amulet.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf shook his head. \u201cNo, lad. Think. If it was on a person who travels about, Feran wouldn\u2019t have been able to tell us where to come.\u00a0 Is there a box or a chest around here?\u201d<\/p>\n Andante looked down at his feet and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cOr maybe a spriggan that doesn\u2019t usually move much.\u201d\u00a0 He knelt down to examine the corpse of the creature and, sure enough, it had around its neck an amulet, the color of its chain blending \u00a0with the color of the spriggan\u2019s wooden skin.\u00a0 He unclasped the piece and scooped it into his pocket. \u201cWhat on earth would a spriggan need with a vampiric amulet? It makes no sense.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDoesn\u2019t matter,\u201d Brynjolf told him. \u201cWe have it now, and we can go back to Volkihar now.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante stood up; the elk bugled.<\/p>\n \u201cShut up,\u201d he growled at it.<\/p>\n Brynjolf laughed.\u00a0 He walked around the glade slowly, stopping here and there to examine the varieties of fungus, finally stopping just in front of the dead alchemist.\u00a0 The elk shifted but did not move.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it, you great daft thing,\u201d he told the elk, his voice quiet and soothing. \u201cI\u2019m not going to bother you. I\u2019m just here to see what happened to this man.\u201d\u00a0 He lowered himself, slowly, and once it was clear that the elk was only going to watch he examined the body.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it looks like he just ran afoul of the spriggans. There\u2019s nothing on him to suggest anything else,\u201d he said in the same quiet tone, straightening up slowly and backing away from the elk.\u00a0 \u201cThere,\u201d he told it. \u201cWe\u2019re all done now.\u00a0 Enjoy your day.\u201d\u00a0 The elk snorted at him and bugled once more.\u00a0 Brynjolf chuckled, and walked carefully down the shallow stream to approach Andante.<\/p>\n \u201cNow then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow that we\u2019ve taken care of this, will you tell me what you remembered in Bruma?\u201d<\/p>\n Damn. <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019d like it much.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf pushed his hood back onto his shoulders. He reached for Andante\u2019s and did the same.\u00a0 \u201cLet me be the judge of that, Andante.\u00a0 There aren\u2019t too many things that bother me anymore, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n No, I can\u2019t tell you. <\/em>\u00a0Andante started to formulate what he\u2019d hoped would be a clever diversion but was completely distracted when Brynjolf leaned forward and kissed his neck.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf grinned. \u201cTrying to get my way. Tell me.\u201d\u00a0 He lifted his hand to Andante\u2019s cheek and brought him close for a kiss that lasted just a bit longer than it ought to, and Andante felt his resolve weakening.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not going to get an answer if I can\u2019t speak, loverboy,\u201d he said once he was able to breathe again.<\/p>\n Brynjolf laughed, but didn\u2019t stand back from him.<\/p>\n \u201cListen, lad. I know you remembered something important. You even got sick over it. I want to help.\u00a0 I want to know something\u2026\u201d He paused, making sure he had Andante\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n No, Bryn, please don\u2019t ask me this. I don\u2019t want to lie to you again.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s your name, Andante?\u00a0 I know that\u2019s what it is. I can feel it. Who are you?\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to lie to you again, but I have to. I love you but I can\u2019t tell you my name.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not that, Bryn,\u201d he started, closing his eyes as Brynjolf once again nuzzled his neck.\u00a0 \u201cBy all the gods you\u2019re distracting.\u201d It <\/em>is that, and we both know it. But at least you can\u2019t see that I just lied to you.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the idea,\u201d Brynjolf responded, reaching up to work at the closures on Andante\u2019s armor.<\/p>\n \u201cWait, what are you doing? Out here?\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf smiled.\u00a0 \u201cLook around us. It\u2019s beautiful. We\u2019re in the shade, and we can find deeper shade right over\u2026\u201d he cast his gaze around the area and took Andante by the hand, drawing him toward a rock overhang.\u00a0 \u201cRight over there. It\u2019s warm.\u00a0 It\u2019s perfect.\u00a0 And you need to relax.\u00a0 Come with me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBryn.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf\u2019s hair was like fire in the muted sunlight, and his golden eyes like flames, and there was nothing that Andante wanted more at that moment than to simply follow the man wherever he led; but he knew he needed to say something, to postpone the inevitable. He looked up at him and sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cI remembered a killing that I did. \u00a0A woman. It wasn\u2019t a contract. It was just an outright murder. It was a horrible thing to have done.\u201d He frowned. \u201cIt made me ill to think about it. That\u2019s what I was telling you. I\u2019m not a good man.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf frowned, too, and stared at Andante for a long while, his gaze passing back and forth from one eye to the other. He\u2019s weighing what I said for truth. He\u2019s good at that, maybe the best I\u2019ve ever known. But I told him something true.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAlright,\u201d Brynjolf said finally, nodding.\u00a0 \u201cI can understand why a thing like that would bother you. I don\u2019t know the reasons. But it was a long time ago. I don\u2019t need to know the reasons. I\u2019ve told you before; I can see the person you are now right in front of me.\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled and lifted his hand to Andante\u2019s cheek again, then leaned forward and whispered in his ear.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I want that person to come over here, with me, right now, so that I can see more of him.\u201d<\/p>\n And for a time Andante forgot to worry about Alessia Previa, or the Afflicted man, or the hundreds upon hundreds of people he\u2019d finished with his fangs.<\/p>\n __<\/p>\n They were just about to take the final turn back to the city of Bruma when Andante\u2019s sharp ears caught the sound of a familiar voice.\u00a0 He grabbed Brynjolf\u2019s arm and pulled him to the side of the road.\u00a0 Andante held his finger up to his mouth to signal silence, and Brynjolf nodded.\u00a0 He crept up the hill by inches until he was just far enough up to see the balding, grey head and white fur cloak of one of the two men he\u2019d hoped never to see again \u2013 Haran the bounty hunter, employed by the other man he hoped never to see, Ondolemar the Thalmor Justiciar.<\/p>\n Haran was distracted by his two subordinates, just enough that he didn\u2019t notice Andante down over the lip of the hill.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, let\u2019s get moving,\u201d Haran called up toward the curtain wall. \u201cHe can\u2019t have gotten too far and the guy in red should be easy to pick out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, yeah. Gimme a second,\u201d another man responded.<\/p>\n A third shout came floating down toward them. \u201cHang on, Haran, he\u2019s taking a leak. Don\u2019t want him to freeze it off, do ya?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShut it!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGet your idiot asses down here now!\u201d Haran shouted. \u201cIf we lose him again there\u2019s no telling what parts you might end up losing.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante pulled backward, his heart pounding.\u00a0 He turned to Brynjolf. \u201cWe have to leave, now,\u201d he hissed. \u201cBack to Skyrim, right now. I\u2019ll explain when we get some distance.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf, to his credit, didn\u2019t question him.\u00a0 He simply followed Andante\u2019s lead, slipping as silently as possible back down the road.\u00a0 Andante found the nearest place to get off the actual roadway and into what little cover there was; and once they were out of sight of the castle he broke into a sprint. Brynjolf followed.<\/p>\n They made it to the intersection where they\u2019d met the Khajiit and Andante took to the road again, hurtling north toward Skyrim until finally he needed to stop for breath.\u00a0 Brynjolf wasn\u2019t far behind.<\/p>\n \u201cWho was that?\u201d Brynjolf panted.<\/p>\n \u201cHis name is Haran. He\u2019s a bounty hunter.\u00a0 Those are the men who have been following us.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been following us ever since we started in to find Darkfall Cave.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI overheard them talking about tailing a bounty when we were in Markarth, and then I saw them following us.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter, but I know they won\u2019t give up.\u00a0 We need to get distance between us and them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHmm,\u201d Brynjolf said.\u00a0 \u201cI was a little concerned about something like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou told that awful bard that you have a house in Solitude and you gave him a good sized sack of coin. And you told the Khajiit that you make your own skooma, and got close enough to him that he probably could count the hairs in your beard.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante started to object, and then stopped, his mind whirling.\u00a0 And I told him I was from Bravil, too. A rich skooma cook from Bravil who now owns a house in Solitude. Anyone looking for Vitus Perdeti would hear those bells ringing from leagues away. I am an idiot. At least I didn\u2019t spill my name by mistake just now. Haran is just tailing \u201ca bounty,\u201d not someone with a known name.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Brynjolf.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how I could possibly have gotten so sloppy.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWe need to get out of here and we need to keep you out of sight, especially.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis red armor doesn\u2019t seem like such a good choice right at the moment, for certain.\u00a0 Let\u2019s not worry about the details, lad. Let\u2019s just go.\u201d<\/p>\n They ran as fast as they could to the base of the mountain, then slowed a bit as the road rose up through the first switchbacks. It was a strenuous climb, even for the two of them, and while they made good progress along the flatter portions of the road the steep areas that gained elevation were difficult.\u00a0 And they\u2019d started out tired; they\u2019d been returning to Bruma after a long, lovely afternoon in the glade, expecting to enjoy a quiet evening in the inn before returning to Skyrim the next day.<\/p>\n So. I\u2019m a monster. And I\u2019m an idiot. A sloppy idiot monster. How can it get any better than that?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s something I don\u2019t understand,\u201d Brynjolf asked him as they slowed after a steep rise.<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t we just get rid of them? You could probably take them out with an arrow or two. We cleared the whole border gate ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n Why not? Why can\u2019t we do that? Why am I running, really?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cBecause they won\u2019t give up.\u00a0 They\u2019ll have sent couriers by now, saying that they\u2019ve found me. If we kill these there will be others.\u201d As he talked, he could feel bands of tension tightening around his head, squeezing his neck.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd by then we\u2019ll be long gone.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante shook his head. \u201cBut not far enough, Bryn. You don\u2019t know these people. You don\u2019t know the lengths they will go to. We have to get out of here.\u201d\u00a0 His heart started to race. \u201cAnd if we don\u2019t kill them, if they kill us instead, who will know? Who will run the Guild? Or Volkihar?\u201d<\/p>\n We have to get away.<\/em><\/p>\n Brynjolf stopped him and took him by the arms. Andante squirmed, but Brynjolf\u2019s grip was too strong.<\/p>\n \u201cAndante. Stop. I\u2019ll make you stop if you won\u2019t do it on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n He would, too.\u00a0 Alright.<\/em>\u00a0 He stopped moving, closed his eyes, and focused on breathing deeply while Brynjolf spoke again.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is going on here? None of what you said makes any sense. If I die, Delvin will take over until they figure out what to do. He\u2019ll do what he\u2019s doing right now. It\u2019s not the first time for him. Volkihar has existed for a lot longer than either of us. Probably either Serana or Valerica would step up.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m trapped. They\u2019re closing in on me, and Brynjolf has me trapped. <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s\u2026\u201d\u00a0 He stared at Brynjolf, not knowing what to say. \u201cPlease don\u2019t make me tell you this, Brynjolf. Please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t decide what to do if I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/p>\n Andante pleaded with him, silently, but he could see that Brynjolf wasn\u2019t going to back down. He gritted his teeth, his heart pounding. Say something. Say <\/em>something, anything at all that will work. We have to get away.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s Thalmor, Bryn. They\u2019re the ones behind the bounty hunters. Thalmor had me, before you met me. They tortured me. They starved me. They beat me. Me, and all the others they had.\u00a0 There was fire.\u201d He closed his eyes and shuddered. \u201cThat\u2019s why I was so angry at the lake, with the dragons. All I could see was the fire\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n The words came tumbling out of him for long moments, reminding Brynjolf of all the times they\u2019d faced flames, or Thalmor, or other groups of bounty hunters. That he truly had taken the torture tools in Fort Dawnguard so that they couldn\u2019t be used on anyone else. All of it spilled out of him as he stood with his eyes closed, shivering, confined in Brynjolf\u2019s grip, waiting for a silver-tipped bolt to slam into his side and start burning, burning like concentrated fire.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid,\u201d he whispered harshly. \u201cThat\u2019s why I want to get away.\u201d He opened his eyes to find Brynjolf staring at him. \u201cI can\u2019t bear the thought of having it happen again. I want to get away so we can think about it and plan what to do next and not just run headfirst into something that might make things worse. I used to be good at that kind of planning before them and I\u2019ve gotten really sloppy and we can\u2019t afford to be sloppy. I\u2019m afraid, and I\u2019m sloppy, and I\u2019m weak, and I want to go.\u201d<\/p>\n And I hate that I\u2019m afraid.<\/em><\/p>\n Brynjolf nodded, slowly.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what is your name?\u201d<\/p>\n Oh dear gods no I can\u2019t do this.<\/em><\/p>\n He looked at Brynjolf and shook his head.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know. But I remember the Thalmor and I know they\u2019re after me. Us. I want time to figure out what to do. Distance.\u201d<\/p>\n Brynjolf stared at him.<\/p>\n He doesn\u2019t believe me. And it\u2019s all true except for that one thing.<\/em><\/p>\n Brynjolf opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of voices interrupted him.\u00a0 He released Andante and dropped into a crouch; and Andante inched forward.<\/p>\n Haran and his two companions had made it to the base of the rise Andante and Brynjolf had just climbed.\u00a0 They were breathing hard, clearly catching their breath, looking around for any sign of their targets.\u00a0 Andante turned to peer at Brynjolf and mouthed the word \u201cgo,\u201d waving his hand toward the path south.<\/p>\n Brynjolf frowned at him, but nodded, turned, and sped away.\u00a0 Andante looked back at the bounty hunters once more, then followed him.<\/p>\n Once the sky was light enough, Andante and Brynjolf left the city and headed out to find the amulet they\u2019d been tasked to retrieve.\u00a0 Whitewood Creek, they had learned from the innkeeper, was a good bit south of the city of Bruma, and down, into the more temperate woodlands. \u201cGo south until you\u2019re just about … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/baakay.com\/FanFic\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/3-2-17-1.png\")
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