He kept going back to the torture room in Helgen Keep, or the room where he\u2019d found Etienne Rarnis in the Thalmor Embassy.\u00a0 Those racks, covered in blood.\u00a0 That.<\/em>\u00a0 That was the kind of thing Roggi did and, he said, did really well.\u00a0 His stomach turned thinking of it.<\/p>\n Is that the kind of thing a person can leave behind?<\/em><\/p>\n For what felt like the thousandth time his mind presented him with the picture of the Khajiit assassin trembling in pain as he held her aloft on his sword.\u00a0 Is it? Can a person leave it behind?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYour father was a brutal man,\u201d his mother had told him in a dream.\u00a0 I seem to be a brutal man, too, in many ways. I never knew it before I left Markarth and there\u2019s no way to un-know it now.<\/em><\/p>\n He had turned his head during those moments and looked from his uneasy bedroll up at Roggi, passed out and snoring, and thought hard about whether there was any chance this would make him feel differently about Roggi, leave him behind.\u00a0 Just thinking about it made his throat constrict.\u00a0 No. There\u2019s no chance. He\u2019s it for me in this lifetime, and that\u2019s all there is.<\/em> But I don\u2019t have to like what it is that he did.<\/em><\/p>\n And then he\u2019d drift off to sleep and think about Roggi with Briinda, Roggi with Dagnell, and Roggi with\u2026 Ulfric.\u00a0 And he\u2019d jerk awake again, his stomach in knots.\u00a0 I want it to be me.\u00a0 And it can\u2019t ever be me.\u00a0 It\u2019s killing me.<\/em> Roggi responded to Ulfric\u2019s charisma, his presence, his station, and that led to everything else.\u00a0 And I\u2019m the godsdamned Dragonborn, he\u2019s seen me do things nobody else can do, and if I\u2019m honest about it I can see that he responds to that as well. He has from the first time we met. <\/em>He thought back to that day on the road outside Whiterun, Roggi\u2019s eyes round with awe as he had said \u201cCould it be? Are you Dragonborn?\u201d I can\u2019t possibly take advantage of that.\u00a0 I\u2019d be no better than Ulfric. It will just have to be enough that he travels with me.<\/em><\/p>\n He\u2019d finally gotten up, once it was late enough, and made his way to the palace to speak to Ulfric.\u00a0 Galmar, Jorlief, and the guards were in the room, giving him suspicious glares, but far enough away from the throne that if they spoke quietly it could be a fairly private conversation.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, Dragonborn,\u201d Ulfric said calmly as Dardeh stopped before him, \u201cyou\u2019ve come for my answer.\u201d There was nothing in his demeanor or his voice to suggest that only a day before they\u2019d been ready to kill each other, and his relaxed posture before the throne gave him an air of self-confidence. But his eyes told another tale, and Dardeh was sure that his own must be returning the sentiment.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 Today you will have no title of respect from me.<\/em> I can barely bring myself to say anything else.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Ulfric nodded.\u00a0 \u201cVery well, then. It was worth a great deal of thought, and I have given it that. I have the greatest respect for the Greybeards, of course.\u00a0 And the dragon attacks are a growing plague.\u00a0 But the political situation is still delicate.\u00a0 Not all the Jarls are fully committed to supporting me as High King.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh came perilously close to laughing aloud.<\/p>\n There\u2019s an understatement.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t afford to appear weak,\u201d Ulfric continued.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t agree to this unless Tullius himself has agreed to be there.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh didn\u2019t quite stifle a growl.\u00a0 \u201cPolitics be damned, Ulfric.\u00a0 Tullius has agreed to be there, as it happens, but that\u2019s not what\u2019s important.\u00a0 Alduin has returned.\u00a0 Tullius didn\u2019t know the extent of what that means but I expect that you do. You are nothing if not a Nord. And we need this truce so that I can deal with him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric\u2019s face changed from the expressionless mask it had been, and while it seemed nearly impossible for such a white-skinned man to do so, he paled. His eyes widened and Dardeh could see that he knew exactly what this meant.<\/p>\n \u201cAlduin? The World-Eater of legend?\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYou know who he is, and you know the prophecies that go along with him. Alduin is the one who attacked us at Helgen. He\u2019s been raising the others.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric frowned, but he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cIf that\u2019s true, well\u2026 that changes the situation, doesn\u2019t it.\u201d\u00a0 He stood and descended from his throne, then paced back and forth in front of it for a few moments, coming to a stop just in front of Dardeh, close enough that Dardeh could see the deep lines around his eyes.<\/p>\n Balgruuf\u2019s age. A solid twenty years older than me, I would guess, and ten years or so older than Roggi.\u00a0 And still powerful.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cVery well, Dragonborn.\u00a0 I\u2019ll come to the council. Our position in Skyrim is still strong. I\u2019ll give Tullius one more chance to quit Skyrim with his tail between his legs.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh fought to keep his face neutral.\u00a0 Arrogant son of a bitch. I was almost ready to admire you for recognizing what a threat Alduin is to everyone, but no. It\u2019s all about you and your throne, isn\u2019t it.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cVery good.\u00a0 A courier will let you know when the Greybeards have set the date.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be long, I\u2019m certain.\u201d\u00a0 He started to leave, but turned back. He had more to say to Ulfric Stormcloak, particularly now, as they stood face-to-face and not more than a few paces apart.<\/p>\n \u201cUlfric. Listen to me for a few moments.”<\/p>\n Ulfric nodded.\u00a0 “Very well.”<\/p>\n “You saw Alduin first-hand in Helgen, yes?\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric nodded, and looked annoyed.\u00a0 \u201cYou were there. You know that.\u201d\u00a0 He planted his feet shoulder-width apart and crossed his arms, a stance of power.\u00a0 Dardeh smirked, and took the same stance himself.<\/p>\n \u201cYes. Well then. You might find it interesting to know that I\u2019ve already fought Alduin once and nearly killed him, with Roggi\u2019s help. In fact, if not for Roggi, I might well be dead. He held his own against Alduin the World-Eater. You might consider that when you\u2019re thinking about him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric raised an eyebrow, and his mouth curled into a sneer.<\/p>\n Oh by all means, raise your eyebrow, Ulfric. I haven\u2019t even started yet.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re a powerful man, Ulfric, so I think you\u2019ll be able to appreciate this. Do you know, I can Shout a dragon to the ground and ride it into the sky, have it attack an enemy, and as far as anyone knows there\u2019s not a single person alive besides me who can do that. Not.\u00a0 One. \u00a0I \u2026 removed<\/em> the only other person who could. I have to say that it\u2019s extremely satisfying to be able to ask a dragon to burn a target to a crisp and have it obey.\u00a0 Saves me having to do it myself.\u201d<\/p>\n He sneered, purposefully. Yeah, I\u2019m being arrogant. He needs to understand this.<\/em><\/p>\n Ulfric\u2019s expression was frozen into that same superior expression he\u2019d been wearing, but his eyes were flickering with unease.<\/p>\n \u201cI kill dragons, and absorb their souls. I take their power into me. It becomes part of me.\u00a0 Do you know how much power a dragon has, Ulfric? It\u2019s hard to describe what it feels like to know that you\u2019re getting that<\/em> much stronger. I\u2019ve killed a great many of them now. I can<\/em> burn a man to death with my Voice, or I can turn him to ice. I can take on the aspect of a dragon myself, which makes me fearsomely strong, or turn myself into a whisper that cannot be harmed. \u00a0I can also use the Shouts that you know. They were the very first ones I learned, of course. \u00a0Everyone starts at the beginning. \u00a0I\u2019ve done all those things at one point or another. I\u2019ve done them here in Tamriel and as it happens I\u2019ve done some of them in a plane of Oblivion as well.\u00a0 Apocrypha.\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard of it, yes? It\u2019s quite an intriguing place.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric\u2019s eyes flickered a bit more, and darkened, and he clenched his jaws. Dardeh smirked. \u00a0Got you with the \u2018starter shouts\u2019 thing, didn\u2019t I. You see now that my threat to you yesterday wasn\u2019t just an empty one, yes?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not just a miner from Markarth anymore, Ulfric. Dragonborn isn\u2019t just a title. And yet, even with all that – if not for Roggi, I might well be dead right now.\u201d<\/p>\n He moved his hands down to his hips and shifted his weight onto one leg, a more relaxed position.\u00a0 You\u2019re getting the picture, I trust.<\/em> I could end you right now. I hate you enough to do that.\u00a0 But I won\u2019t, because like it or not you\u2019re important to Skyrim.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cRoggi can\u2019t do the kinds of things I can do, and he can\u2019t Shout the way you can, but he is a lot more substantial than you think.\u00a0 It takes a powerful man to live through everything he\u2019s lived and come through it strong enough to take down a dragon.\u201d<\/p>\n Ulfric stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, his mouth moving as if he was working up to a reply.\u00a0 Dardeh smiled, and a part of his mind suspected that it was not a pleasant smile.<\/p>\n Yes, Ulfric, I know what you did to him.\u00a0 But he didn\u2019t break.<\/em><\/p>\n He turned and left the Palace without waiting for a response from the Jarl of Windhelm.<\/p>\n ____<\/p>\n Dardeh walked into the room and grimaced when he saw Roggi.\u00a0 He had gotten back into his armor, somehow, but was sitting on the bed looking perfectly miserable. He looks like he\u2019s been fighting a dremora the whole time I was gone. I don\u2019t know what to do for him except get him out of here.\u00a0 Maybe it will help if we get him back home.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cRoggi.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi looked up at him.\u00a0 He looked tentative.\u00a0 Sad.\u00a0 Almost afraid.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe need to get you home to Kynesgrove, so you can be comfortable.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that far.\u201d<\/p>\n What passed over Roggi\u2019s face Dardeh didn\u2019t recognize.\u00a0 He just gazed up for a moment, then nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cI figured.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell I don\u2019t think there\u2019s much point to paying Elda for the room every day. It\u2019s not exactly quiet here.\u00a0 Besides, the farther away from Ulfric the better, as far as I\u2019m concerned, and I think you\u2019ll agree with that.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi winced, and it wasn\u2019t a wince of physical pain.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d He sighed again.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, let\u2019s get this over with.\u00a0 Help me up and we can get moving.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh helped Roggi stand.\u00a0 It seemed to him as though Roggi was trembling, still, the way he had been the previous day in Ulfric\u2019s court.<\/p>\n \u201cRoggi\u2026 is everything ok?\u00a0 Aside from the obvious? Are you going to be able to walk?\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi nodded.\u00a0 He looked miserable.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I can walk.\u00a0 As to whether everything is ok, well\u2026\u201d\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 \u201cSo what is the status with Ulfric?\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh snorted.\u00a0 \u201cOh His Excellence is going to High Hrothgar all right.\u201d He smirked. \u201cHe agreed to meet Tullius because his position is fairly strong, he said. It\u2019s not strong and he knows it.\u00a0 But I am, and he knows that, too.\u00a0 I made sure he knows it.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019ll be interesting to see how he behaves with his old masters. And Tullius.\u00a0 He certainly doesn\u2019t behave particularly well with his own people, for all his big talk.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d Roggi said faintly.\u00a0 \u201cHe never has.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh made sure they had everything, and then nodded toward the door. \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u00a0 It shouldn\u2019t take too long to get there but I don\u2019t want to be arriving in the dark if you get tired. Let me know if you need help. I make a pretty decent walking stick. I\u2019m short.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi nodded again, but his grin seemed half-hearted to Dardeh.<\/p>\n They made decent progress down the road, but in relative quiet.<\/p>\n What is going on with him? Dardeh thought.\u00a0 He is acting like the world has come to an end.\u00a0 I know it was distressing for him, and with what he told me I can understand his being upset. It\u2019s awful. But it\u2019s not the end of everything. I\u2019m still not quite sure what I think about it, though. I\u2019m not sure he knows what he thinks about it, either.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve known him for a long time, haven\u2019t you?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Roggi frowned.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Not as long as Galmar has, for sure, or the others who fought in the Legion during the Great War, but a long time. Maybe ten, twelve years or so.\u00a0 It feels longer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRoggi, what you told me last night\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. For all of it.\u201d<\/p>\n So that really is what\u2019s bothering him?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy are you sorry?\u00a0 I\u2019m the one who\u2019s sorry.\u00a0 That should never have happened to you or anyone else. And this,\u201d he added, waving at Roggi\u2019s chest.\u00a0 \u201cThat shouldn\u2019t have happened either.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need to Shout at you.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t have gotten near him with that sword of yours. Either the guards would have stopped you, or I would have.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi looked over at him, a tiny hint of a smile creeping up the corners of his mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t hold back with him.\u00a0 That was something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, that was not the brightest thing I\u2019ve ever done,\u201d Dardeh said, running his hand over his braids.\u00a0 No, it wasn\u2019t. It was stupid.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cI was angry.\u00a0 I\u2019m discovering that I have less of a handle on that than I used to have.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDag is like that too,\u201d Roggi said, smiling.\u00a0 \u201cShe beat me up pretty good the first time I met her. I was out of practice and, well, she has a good swing. And a short fuse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid she really?\u201d Dardeh laughed, and thought back to that brief encounter he\u2019d had with her, and the long pale scar down her face. I\u2019ll bet she gave as good as she got when that happened. <\/em>\u201cWe must both get it from our father.\u201d He frowned. \u201cI wish I didn\u2019t get quite so much of it from him.\u201d<\/p>\n They moved down the road slowly, but steadily, and after a time saw the familiar rooflines of Kynesgrove poking up from behind the next hill.<\/p>\n \u201cGood,\u201d Dardeh said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad we got back here in time to get you settled.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d Roggi said, weakly, opening the door to his house.<\/p>\n Dardeh pointed to his bed.\u00a0 \u201cNow I want you down.\u00a0 You need to rest some more.\u00a0 How\u2019s it feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi winced. \u201cEh, well.\u00a0 I\u2019ve felt better.\u00a0 It hurts pretty bad after all the walking.\u201d<\/p>\n Thought so.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cYeah, so get down.\u00a0 Get the boots off and lie down.\u00a0 Better yet, lie down and I\u2019ll help you with your boots.\u00a0 And then tell me where stuff is so I can make us something to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi did as he was told, looking a little mystified.\u00a0 Dardeh got him settled and started rustling around with dishes and supplies.<\/p>\n \u201cDardeh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c<\/em>Why are you doing all this?\u201d<\/p>\n What?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy would I not?\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about it, Roggi.\u00a0 I took care of my ma for a long time when she got sick.\u00a0 I can make a decent stew.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be a lot better in a few days but right now, don\u2019t worry about it, ok?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOk\u2026\u201d He sounded tentative.<\/p>\n Dardeh found a few bottles of mead stashed away.\u00a0 Roggi was trying to be good, he thought, stowing it all away, but this isn\u2019t the time.\u00a0 He handed one to Roggi and said \u201cDrink.\u00a0 Just do it. I will, uh, keep a better eye on how much than I did last night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll right,\u201d Roggi said, wincing.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t argue with you. On either count.\u00a0 I was a little drunk last night. Told you I have a tendency to get a little carried away.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh laughed.\u00a0 \u201cJust a little.\u00a0 My fault. I kept handing them to you like an idiot.\u201d<\/p>\n A few minutes passed in silence as Dardeh chopped up a few apples and cabbage and tossed them into a pot to stew.\u00a0 Roggi cleared his throat.<\/p>\n \u201cUm, so\u2026 when will you be leaving?\u00a0 For High Hrothgar, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh was stirring the stew.\u00a0 He snorted.\u00a0 \u201cWhen you\u2019re better enough to travel, that\u2019s when. A few days, I hope? It should be at least less painful by then. If they get there before us they\u2019ll just have to wait and enjoy the cold air for awhile. Won\u2019t Arngeir love that.\u201d He shot Roggi a look. \u201cUnless you\u2019re trying to get rid of me sooner, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re\u2026 not going to leave me here? I figured you\u2019d want to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh stopped in mid-stir and turned to stare at Roggi.\u00a0 \u201cWhy in the world would I do that?\u201d\u00a0 Gods, Roggi.\u00a0 Leave you? Again?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cBecause\u2026\u00a0 Uh\u2026\u201d\u00a0 He was clearly distressed.<\/p>\n Oh.\u00a0 I see<\/em>.<\/p>\n Dardeh put aside the spoon, walked over to Roggi\u2019s bed and sat down at the edge of it.<\/p>\n \u201cRoggi, listen.\u00a0 I can\u2019t do all of this on my own, you know?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know these people, all I am is a miner. These people, these important people, you\u2019ve known some of them for years and years.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Dar. You\u2019re the Dragonborn.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh snorted. \u201cWell it made for a good tool to intimidate Ulfric a bit, earlier, but\u2026\u201d He stopped and grinned. \u201cThat was really satisfying, by the way. I wish you\u2019d seen it.\u00a0 I wanted him to understand that he shouldn\u2019t underestimate the two of us. I probably overdid it a bit, but it felt so very good. He looked like he had swallowed skeever droppings when I told him I could ride a dragon. \u201d<\/p>\n Roggi looked utterly startled for a moment, but then chuckled. \u201cYou told him that?\u201d<\/p>\n He chuckled, and grinned a bit wider.<\/p>\n \u201cIn as superior a voice as I could muster. I figured it would make an impression. Listen, I had no choice about being able to absorb dragon souls, or any of that. It\u2019s nothing that I had to, I don\u2019t know, achieve.\u00a0 And I wasn\u2019t the only Dragonborn, either; there was Miraak.\u201d And let\u2019s not forget Talos, but that\u2019s another story entirely.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cNow he\u2019s gone and I\u2019m the only one again.\u00a0 But it\u2019s still not some kind of accomplishment, and I don\u2019t know that it\u2019s even all that good a thing.\u00a0 And I still don\u2019t know the people who will be at that council. If I have to stand there and pretend to be some kind of diplomat\u2026\u00a0 I really need you with me, Roggi. I\u2019m nervous as all Oblivion about this.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi studied his face. \u201cBut Dar. I told you what I am. I\u2019m not the kind of person to be, I don\u2019t know. Doing great things to save the world.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou told me what you were<\/em>.\u00a0 I can see what you are now with my own two eyes. What you told me was all pretty hard to hear, for sure, but we all have pasts, you know?\u00a0 Mine is just nothing but boring. Are you going to stop being my friend because I haven\u2019t always been able to kill dragons? Think about it. Do you hate Brynjolf because he\u2019s a thief? Or Dag? No. They\u2019re your friends. I had to leave you behind when I went to Solstheim because you almost died.\u00a0 I\u2019m not planning to leave you behind again.\u201d<\/p>\n He shook his head and frowned.<\/p>\n \u201cNot unless you want to stay behind, since bad things seem to happen to you when I\u2019m around. I wouldn\u2019t blame you for that. You are <\/em>the kind of person to be doing great things if you\u2019re willing to help me get through it, Roggi. You already have, more than once.\u201d<\/p>\n He took a deep breath.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to wish I hadn\u2019t said this but here goes.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAs far as the other thing \u2013 him, I mean \u2013 well if you enjoyed something that made you feel good you\u2019d hardly be the first person in the world to do so. You are human, after all. I certainly don\u2019t think any less of you because of that.\u201d<\/p>\n Gods, I hope I haven\u2019t said too much.<\/em><\/p>\n Roggi stared at him in disbelief for a moment.\u00a0 Then it seemed as though he dissolved.\u00a0 His eyes misted over; he closed them and relaxed back onto the bed.\u00a0 He opened them and looked back up at Dardeh.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you\u2019re really not just going to leave.\u00a0 I was sure you would. I don\u2019t want to be left behind again.\u201d<\/p>\n Is that really what he thought?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWell of course not.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be foolish.\u00a0 Now let me finish the stew.\u201d<\/p>\n He stood up and went back to the cooking pot, trying his hardest not to let his emotions show.\u00a0 I want to kill Ulfric Stormcloak for what he did to you. I want to figure out a way to make that happen. I\u2019m not going to let you do it yourself, it would break you.\u00a0 And I\u2019m never, ever going to send you away.\u00a0 I need you. I\u2019ll stand by you till I\u2019m called to Sovngarde for good, and afterwards if you come find me there. You\u2019ll have to leave me, first.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cDar?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n Dardeh looked over at him and grinned.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t thank me till you\u2019ve found out how bad this dinner really is.\u201d<\/p>\n Roggi laughed, the first real laugh Dardeh had heard from him in days.<\/p>\n It was a long morning. Dardeh hadn\u2019t gotten a lot of sleep for thinking about everything he\u2019d heard the night before.\u00a0 The few times he\u2019d dozed off, he\u2019d startled himself awake thinking of Ulfric flying backwards toward his map table and imagining that he\u2019d actually struck it and been harmed.\u00a0 Or he\u2019d hear the caged … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/baakay.com\/FanFic\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/2-2-8-1.png\")
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