Roggi smiled as he stepped out of the house holding a bottle of mead in each hand, hearing the giggles and shrieks floating up from below. It was a beautiful day, sunny and as warm as it ever got in Falkreath hold, and his children were taking advantage of it, swimming in Lake Ilinalta. Sofie and Lucia worked hard around the house, helping with chores, pulling up weeds from the garden, learning how to cook alongside Lydia and Dardeh; and when they played, they played hard as well.
He watched them, for a few moments, wondering again for the thousandth time how it was that he’d ended up with children. Maybe they weren’t the children of his body – those would have had platinum hair and the bluest of eyes, as both he and Briinda had – but they were just as much his children nonetheless. He could see their clothes laid out on the deck above where they swam, and grinned, for there was Lucia’s wooden sword holding the piles down from the wind. She was the more naturally aggressive of the two, wanting to learn swordsmanship, to protect their home. She reminded him of himself as a boy, full of idealism and fire. Sofie was domestic, quiet, intelligent and self-sufficient, and much closer in temperament to Roggi’s husband. If not forced by fate into the roles he’d had to take on, that’s what Dardeh would have been like – a homebody, but one fully capable of taking the reins of any situation that called for it.
He looked around for his husband, who should have been watching the children, and couldn’t see him. That’s a feat, he thought. Dardeh was such a large man, if not tall, that it was difficult to imagine him disappearing into the undergrowth. Then he heard the thump – whack of the block and axe, and walked down the steps and around the corner of the house to find Dardeh hard at work chopping firewood.
“Hey, who’s watching the kids?”
Dardeh looked up at him and grinned, his forehead glistening with sweat.
“What, are you going to nag me now? I’m watching them, Roggi. You know I could be there in the blink of an eye if something happened.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry about that.” Dardeh had a Shout that would let him move across long distances faster than a horse could gallop. As fast as a dragon can fly.
“You didn’t just come out here to pester me about the girls. What is it?”
Roggi sighed. “You’re too clever for me, Dar. I need to talk to you about something. Come sit?” He waggled one of the bottles of mead and held it out to Dardeh, who nodded, buried the axe into the chopping block and wiped his brow with his shirt sleeve. Roggi grimaced.
“Ugh. I’ll never get that clean now.”
Dardeh laughed and reached for the mead. “It never ceases to amaze me, husband, how a man who used to work in a mine could be so particular about clean clothes.”
“I know, I know.” What can I say? It’s the other work that did it. I hated having blood stains everywhere. I got used to hiding it from Briinda and the habit stayed with me.
They sat at the table on their back deck, looking over the lake and the girls. Dardeh took a drink and set the bottle down, giving Roggi a searching look.
“So. Whenever you say you need to talk it means you’re going away. What is it this time?”
Roggi looked down at the table, sheepishly. He knows me too well.
“It’s something I need to figure out. Let me ask you something, Dar. What do you think about Andante?”
Dardeh furrowed his brow. “Andante? Uh… I think he is… well…” Dardeh trailed off, clearly uncomfortable. “Cocky? Hard to pin down? A little full of himself?” He met Roggi’s gaze. “He’s clearly head over heels with Brynjolf, that much I’m clear on, but aside from that, I really don’t know.”
“Do you trust him?”
Dardeh snorted. “Trust him? I barely know him. All I have to go on is the fact that Bryn keeps him nearby, and I wouldn’t trust him either if not for you, Roggi. Like him, yes, absolutely; trust him? Not as far as I could throw him. Why would I trust a con artist? You, I trust. You tell me Brynjolf’s a good man, and I take your word for it.”
All right. Fair enough.
He nodded. “Well here’s the thing, Dar. Andante isn’t who he seems to be.”
“We knew that. He doesn’t remember who he is.”
“That’s just it. Remember the night they stopped here to get the Scroll?”
“Yeah?”
“We talked for a bit. He was starting to recall things, he said. He wasn’t happy about it; I could see that on his face. In fact, he looked almost distressed. Remember how he just excused himself and came outside? Palest I ever saw a man, even for a vampire.”
There was dead silence, while Dardeh’s odd-eyed gaze bored into his.
By Ysmir. Did I really just say that? I can’t believe I just did that.
“A…” Dardeh cleared his throat and then spoke, his voice carrying heavy, deep overtones. “Did you just tell me that Andante is a vampire?”
Well, there it is. That’s the voice. I have to come clean now. Dardeh was basically a pacifist, was a sweet, loving man. But he was also the Dragonborn, and when he spoke in those tones, Roggi had learned, it was best to just hunker down and do whatever it was Dardeh wanted him to do.
Roggi groaned. He pulled a hand down over his face and then sighed. “Yes, I did, and I’m an idiot. But now you know. Ok. Let me tell you the whole thing.”
He proceeded to do just that. He told Dardeh how he’d learned that Andante was a vampire when he’d turned and seen the glowing, golden eyes. He described the black mask that made a person’s face completely disappear, and how he had the overwhelming sensation that the mask was actually Andante’s.
Dardeh stood and paced the deck, casting an occasional glance down at the lake to check on their children. He turned back to Roggi, frowning.
“So why is it that you were there in the first place, Roggi?”
Damn, I knew this would happen.
“I, uh…”
He jumped as Dardeh’s meaty hand slammed the table in front of him.
“Roggi, you have got to stop this!” Dardeh shouted. “You’ve just got to.” He lowered himself back into his chair, slowly.
“I thought we had agreed, Roggi. No more secrets. There have been enough of those for two lifetimes. No more. You can’t keep doing this to me. I trust you; but you make it harder and harder every time you pull something out of the dark like this. You tell me you’re going to visit Kjeld and I find out you’re really visiting Andante?”
“I wasn’t visiting him like that, Dar, good grief. I’m not doing it to…” Roggi stopped when he saw the look in Dardeh’s eyes – angry, betrayed, distrustful and sad. “Damn it, Dardeh. I’m sorry. I’ve just been hiding things for so long, it seems like it’s all I can do. It’s automatic.”
Dardeh sighed, and placed one warm hand over Roggi’s. “I know. And I love you. But you have to tell me what’s going on. Please?”
I’ll try, Dar. I’ll try, for you.
He nodded. “Alright. Here’s the thing.”
He told Dardeh about his visit to Riften, his talk with Galathil using the hood he’d taken from Markarth long before. Dardeh’s face got stormier and angrier as he spoke, but he kept pushing along with the story until he got to the end of it.
“That’s it. What do you think?”
Dardeh stared out over the lake; he started to speak several times but stopped. Finally he turned back to Roggi.
“First of all, I thought you were done with all that. And second of all, Brynjolf told you not to lean on her.”
I thought I was done with it, too. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t help it.
“I… I am, Dar. Now I am, anyway. I left the mask there, in Riften, with Andante. No more. But we had to have something to go on.”
“You realize that’s a little hard to take at face value.”
Roggi winced. “Yeah. I know. I don’t blame you. It’s easy to say and not so easy to prove. But it’s as much a part of me as, I don’t know, looking for the dragon words is part of you.”
It was Dardeh’s turn to wince. “Ouch. Alright, I get it. We both are doing the best we can, I guess.” He gave Roggi a small smile. “And Brynjolf, he’s a vampire too?”
Roggi nodded. “It’s a little hard to get past that, but yes. That’s what Andante told me. That’s probably why he was wearing different armor the last time we saw him, now that I think about it. Special enchantments and such.”
Dardeh snorted. “Huh. It’s not hard for me to imagine. The two of them have always been practically joined together, for as long as I’ve known them; it would make sense to me that they’re the same. Andante strikes me as the sort who doesn’t take no for an answer.”
Roggi shook his head. “No, it wasn’t like that. At least that’s what he told me. He said Brynjolf was the one who made the first move. At any rate, Dar, the reason all of this matters is that when I told him what I had learned he… well, Andante thinks he knows where Dagnell is.”
Dardeh’s eyes opened wide. “What? Where?”
“In Dawnstar. He thinks that she may be the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood.”
Dardeh’s mouth sank open for a moment. “She’s… what?” He shook his head. “Wow. That’s just… wow. Ok, ok, so let’s say she is, for the sake of argument. Why has he not then just asked her about it? He does work with the Listener, after all.”
“Because, Dar. The Listener of the Dark Brotherhood. If he’s wrong it could be really bad.”
“Oh. Right. No need to poke a sleeping bear.”
Roggi nodded. “He seemed really in awe of her. My guess is that as a description for her, bear falls a little short of the mark. So we developed a plan.” He described the plan, treading as carefully as he could around the fact that it involved details that only he and Dagnell would have known before this.
“Do you remember when Brynjolf and Andante were here? You started raging about Ulfric, and we started talking about the one man who could pull off that kind of hit.”
Dardeh rubbed his forehead. “Yeah. Vaguely. A man in a… mask.” He stared at Roggi, his eyes round.
I hope I’m right about this. If I’m not I could be getting myself into so much trouble and probably effect Dar and Lydia too. And the girls.
“That’s when Andante excused himself. He told me he was remembering things. Dar, I think there’s a chance that he’s the one we were talking about. The man in the mask. A professional assassin of the highest order.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. And so. That’s why I need to leave again, for a few days. I need to talk to Delvin. He’s the one with the connections. He can help me put the pieces together, the timing of things. For example, when did that man disappear from Cyrodiil, exactly? And why did I find that mask in Markarth? I don’t know what it all means, but.”
“But?”
Roggi glanced down toward the lake, saw the two girls splashing each other, and sighed.
“I know that Andante loves Brynjolf. I can see it. I could hear it in his voice. But Bryn and Dag – they’re our family, Dar. They need to be together. And you need to know your sister.” He turned to meet Dardeh’s gaze. “And that’s all of it. Every bit of it. No more secrets.”
Dardeh nodded, slowly.
“Ok. Thank you. That’s a lot to take in.”
“I know it is.”
“Roggi, here’s the thing. What if Dag is there? What if she’s the Listener? Brynjolf is a…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “What in the world happens then?”
“I don’t know, my love,” Roggi told him. “But it’s like you said. There are too many secrets. It’s time. Maybe they’ll completely reject each other but I don’t think so. I don’t. They were meant for each other.”
“And Andante?”
“I really don’t know. That’s going to be the biggest question. If that’s who he is, Dar, he’s one of the most dangerous men in the world and there are people trying to find him. I don’t know how we keep him safe. Or even whether we should.”
Dardeh stood, and heaved a sigh.
“Girls!” he shouted down toward the lake, his massive voice carrying effortlessly across the distance. “Time to get out now, you’re going to be all wrinkly!”
“Aww, Papa!” Lucia’s protest floated back up to them.
“Now, Lucia,” he answered.
He turned to Roggi. “Well then. I guess that means you’re off to Riften again.”
“Yeah. That’s my plan. I’ll leave in the morning. That gives me tonight to make it up to you.” He slipped his arms around Dardeh’s waist and pulled him close in for a kiss. I’m always grateful for this little bit of extra height. Sometimes it lets me imagine I’m as strong as he is. Which is a fool’s thought. He pulled back and smiled at Dardeh. “Thanks for not turning me into an icicle or something.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Roggi,” Dardeh said with a grin. “I love you and you know it.”
“Yeah. I do.” I do, because you show me every day. I wonder if I’m even close to being what you’d hoped I would be. “I love you, too, Dar. I’m a really lucky man, and don’t think I don’t know it. I’m sorry to be such a trial sometimes.”
They pulled apart as two giggling, shivering girls came scampering up the stairs.
“Get in there and put on some dry clothes before you both freeze to death,” Dardeh laughed at them, following them toward the house. Roggi smiled and followed them.
Guess it’s time for me to do some washing.
__
Sayma walked up the road into Kynesgrove, wondering why she was doing this to herself.
I’m being foolish. It’s just going to hurt. But it’s been so long since I’ve seen him, and I just want to see for myself that he’s alright.
She’d been debating whether or not to make this side trip for the entire time it had taken to get to Windhelm. All it would do would be to add time to the excursion, time away from the Sanctuary, and her home, and that was time she didn’t really want to spend. But Andante was missing, and she was both annoyed and frustrated by the fact that they really needed him to not be missing. The Night Mother had given her two different assignments, one of them the type of assassination that she knew Andante could do better than most anyone else. And in spite of her determination that it should be otherwise, she missed his strange sense of humor, as well.
“Where is he, Babette?” she’d asked a couple of days prior.
“I don’t know for certain, Listener,” Babette had told her in her unique, evasive way.
“Babette. He came and spoke to you the last time he was here. I’d ask Cicero but that would be as useful as speaking to one of the horkers on the beach. Nazir has no idea where he’s gone, and none of the new ones even know him. You’re the only one left, and the two of you have a connection that I do not share. Now, where is he?”
Babette had smiled up at her, her pale face with its glowing eyes a sight that Sayma never had gotten used to seeing. The idea of living on other people’s blood made her shudder. I know that I do, too, in a sense; but a single taste of a victim’s spilled blood is different than having your entire existence depend on consuming it. She remembered the conversation she’d had with Andante about it, about how she’d spilled so very much blood while becoming the Listener, and she remembered his odd reaction to it.
Funny how he never shows himself to me. He’s always so careful to have an illusion spell going. I wonder what he looks like without it. Well, no matter. At least he’s always respectful. Even when he’d offered her the skooma, he’d been exceptionally polite about it. He was one of her best, and that was why his disappearance was so annoying.
“I think,” Babette said, giving her a coy smile, “that there was some mention of the Dawnguard. That’s my best recollection. Where he might have gone from there is anyone’s guess.”
“Babette, you’re being difficult. Why on earth would either of you have anything to do with the Dawnguard?” She shook her head. “Never mind. Don’t answer. All right. I’m going to take a quick trip to Riften. If I don’t find him immediately I’ll head right back. You and the girl will take care of things at my house, yes?”
“Of course, Listener. We’ll make sure he’s well taken care of.”
That was something Sayma knew she could count on. Babette wasn’t always forthcoming with information that had anything to do with vampires, but she did know how to keep things running smoothly; and when she gave her word about a thing that word would be kept. It was one of the most important parts of living for over three hundred years, or so she’d said.
Sayma had taken the ferry to Windhelm. Rather than immediately purchasing a carriage ride to Riften, though, she had decided to walk to Kynesgrove.
It’s going to be difficult enough to walk into Riften and look for Andante. I’ll have to go into the Flagon and hope he’s there, and that will be hard, all by itself. But why am I doing this?
She sighed and shook her head.
Because he’s my friend, or at least he was; and I miss him. Because at one time I thought we’d be together. I just want to lay eyes on him, hear his laugh.
She stopped in front of the squat, thatched-roof house and stared at the door, wishing she could knock. How many times had she stood just here, on her way back to Riften from some job or other, looking forward to an evening with her best friend? How many times had it ended up with her slinking out this same door before dawn, having spent the night?
It might have been him. But it wasn’t.
After a few long moments, she shook herself into motion again and made for the inn. It was familiar inside, warm, welcoming. Iddra the innkeeper called out a greeting and Sayma had to catch herself to keep from addressing her as a friend. Instead, she slipped onto a barstool and ordered up an ale and some bread and cheese. She would bring the topic up, see whether she could find out where he was this evening, and then figure out some excuse to go knock on his door, or visit the mine, or go where Iddra told her to go.
“I hope you can help me,” she began. “I’m looking for an old friend. Roggi Knot-Beard. I know he lives here in Kynesgrove, but I don’t know where. Do you know where I can find him?”
“Oh, goodness,” Iddra said with a chuckle. “You must be an old friend. Roggi hasn’t lived here for some time now, not since he got married.”
Sayma felt a shock wave run through her body. Married? Roggi?
Her heart had no business sinking the way it did. But it did. She was confused and unaccountably sad, wondering who had taken her place with him and knowing she had no right even to think such a thing.
“Really? He’s married? But I thought his wife…”
Iddra chuckled again. “Oh no, dear. You definitely aren’t up to date, are you? That was such a long time ago now. Almost another lifetime. No, Roggi’s married to the nicest boy.” She laughed at herself. “Boy. Listen to me. The man’s name is Dardeh and he’s what they call Dragonborn. He kills dragons. There was one right up on the hill behind the inn, did you know that? Came right up out of that old burial mound. Dardeh got it. It was quite the sight to see, that big skeleton just sitting there like that, after he got done absorbing its energy. Anyway, that’s Roggi’s husband, a great strapping Redguard. They live out at the west end of Lake Ilinalta now, and have adopted a couple of kids. He stops in once in awhile, if there’s business to do out this way, because there are always the dragons to take care of and Roggi usually comes with him. You should see the two of them together, they are just the cutest couple. Just silly over each other, they are…”
Sayma heard the words, felt them pouring over her like the waves off the Sea of Ghosts. She smiled at Iddra, and nodded, and tried to make polite conversation, but her mind was having the hardest time grappling with what she’d just heard.
Roggi and… Dardeh? She remembered meeting Dardeh in Whiterun; remembered the looks he’d given Roggi. But that was just before Roggi and I spent that night at Nilheim. Roggi was definitely not interested in Dardeh. Or any man. What has happened since the last time I saw him?
She finished her snack in a daze, thanked Iddra, and left the inn.
I guess I’ll go back to Windhelm and catch the carriage to Riften, then.
She passed by Roggi’s house again and found herself wiping her eyes. It’s just the cold wind. As she trod the familiar path toward the Windhelm stables she shook her head. It’s my own damned fault. I have nobody to blame but myself.
___
She pushed open the door from the Ratway to the Ragged Flagon, and walked quietly around the perimeter of the space toward Vekel’s bar. She cast her eyes around the place, noting that things were still being kept up nicely, that there was a good amount of business being conducted. Vekel was behind the bar, smiling at and flirting with Tonilia as usual, and she had to stifle the urge to call out to them.
I’m supposed to be in charge here, and I can’t even say hello to my family. This is the worst. I can’t very well go up to Vekel looking guilty as sin, and I can’t act as though I’m looking for someone. This is so much harder than I expected.
She automatically looked at the two seats Brynjolf had most often occupied, but they were empty of anyone with red hair. She hadn’t really expected to see him, but had still hoped for at least a glimpse.
What would I have done, if he were here? Really, what would I have done? Walk up to him and say ‘hello, Red, I’m sorry, I still love you, please don’t be mad that I just walked out on you like that?’ Ridiculous. It would have been too hard. I’m glad he’s not here.
No, I’m not.
She nodded at Vekel, and pushed a few coins across the bar in exchange for a drink, then turned and made for the nearest empty seat in a dark corner. And caught her breath.
“But how long ago was it, Delvin? Do you know?” a quiet, warm voice murmured, from the other side of the wall of crates she sat next to.
Sayma’s eyes went round, and she suddenly found it necessary to study her tankard very closely. Roggi.
“Well,” came Delvin’s unmistakable voice, “that’s hard to say. It had to have been at least two, maybe two and a half years ago. Maybe a little more. All of a sudden the network couldn’t find him, or so they said. That’s when the rumors started, anyway. It was a good few months at least before all the things happened here, with Mercer Frey and all that.”
Sayma rose, quietly, and made her way across the room to a seat that gave her a clearer view. She sat down and raised her tankard, sliding her gaze carefully in the direction of the voices.
There they were. Delvin looked no different than he had the last time she had seen him. Probably wearing the same set of armor, too, the old goat. She smiled to herself thinking about it. Seated across from him was Roggi.
Her heart rose into her throat. He looks wonderful. His hair was still tied up in a long tail, his face relaxed and healthy-looking. The light armor he wore did nothing, even with its long sleeves, to conceal what were clearly much more developed muscles than he’d had the last time she had seen him. Her gaze ran down the length of his arms and came to his hands, and then stopped when she saw the ornate ring.
The Bond of Matrimony. He really is married.
It must suit him. He looks so much healthier than he did the last time I saw him.
Sayma found herself blinking back tears, and was angry with herself for it. She looked around the room, searching all the tables and corners, and she neither saw nor heard the flashy vampire she’d come searching for.
“Damn it,” she muttered. She stood again, and moved back to her spot nearer to Roggi and Delvin, and settled down to eavesdrop.
“That’s just about the time I found that hood.” That was Roggi, speaking quietly.
“Found it, did you?” Delvin said with a smirk.
“Well, no, Delvin. You know better than that. I – what is it that Andante says? I liberated it from its previous state of confinement. It was in an evidence chest and it looked like it would be more useful on my head.”
“There you go. You really should have taken Brynjolf up on his offer.”
Roggi chuckled. “No. I’m done with that, Delvin. I have more than I can handle between Dar and the girls. But listen. I’m really beginning to think I’m right about this. I just really don’t know how to go about proving it. Do you have anything for me at all?”
“Well,” Delvin said slowly, “let me think. There were rumors of a hit that was botched, out in Markarth. That was about the same time he disappeared. It might even be connected to that hood of yours. You might look into that. I’ve always wondered if it was him, not that anyone knew what he looked like. But if it was, the Thalmor probably killed him.”
“Or tortured him,” Roggi muttered. “If he was from Cyrodiil they’d have been more than interested in anything they could squeeze out of him about operations down there.”
“Well you’d know about that more than I, my friend.”
Roggi sighed. “Yeah, and I wish I didn’t. Dar is not happy about any of this. But I’ll look into Markarth. The timing is right.” He stretched his shoulders and looked around. “Where’s Bryn?”
Sayma’s head swam, trying to note and make sense of all the various pieces of information she was hearing. Roggi had an offer from Brynjolf, and based on Delvin’s tone it clearly involved the Guild. And the talk of knowing about torture; that was just too confusing. Delvin had ties to the Brotherhood, but Roggi?
“Oh who knows,” Delvin snorted. “If I could peel him off Andante for more than five minutes at a time I’d be a happy man. Never thought I’d see the day. The last I knew they stopped in here for a few minutes, and then took off west again. Bryn said something about Falkreath and Andante told me he was heading to Dawnstar. I think he was pullin’ my leg.”
Peel Brynjolf off Andante? What?
Falkreath. The only reason Bryn would go to Falkreath would be the Sepulcher. And Andante never came back to Dawnstar.
What is going on?
“Oh come on, Delvin, have you seen the way he looks at Bryn?”
“Of course. I just never expected anything to come of it.”
“Well, strange times, Delvin. After all, we have dragons now.”
“Yes, and Maven as Jarl. Whoever would have imagined that actually coming about?”
“Ha! Well. Thanks for that tidbit. I’ll do some more digging. I don’t have my old network anymore but that at least gives me a place to point my nose. And if I run across Brynjolf and Andante I’ll tell them to get their backsides back here.”
Delvin laughed. “Right. Good to see you, Roggi.”
Sayma heard the chair scraping, and turned her head just in time to see Roggi stare directly at her. It was an endless moment, as she took in all the details of this face she still loved in spite of the time that had passed, and fought to keep her own expression neutral. He doesn’t know what I look like. He has no reason to suspect that it’s me.
Roggi nodded, and then continued on his way out of the Ragged Flagon.
And Sayma sat quietly, shaking in the corner, a Guildmaster who could not reveal her presence to her own Guild.
The world has changed. It has gone on without me. And both of them have gone on without me.
It’s my own fault.