“I’ll never get used to seeing that,” Roggi murmured. “It’s terrifying. But there’s no doubt that you truly are Dragonborn.”
They’d finally, reluctantly, pulled themselves out of the tent and readied themselves to leave, the next morning. They’d gone no further than a few hundred paces west when there was a familiar roar, and a dragon had dropped from the sky to land in front of them. This one breathed fire. Dardeh had Shouted – “MUL – QAH DIIV!” and wrapped himself in the aspect and power of a dragon himself, then attacked. He Shouted, and slashed, and thanked Dragon Aspect for keeping him in his skin. Between the two of them, it hadn’t taken that long to dispatch the beast; now Dardeh stood beside its skeleton, the effects of the Shout still shimmering around him.
He turned to smile at Roggi. “You’re no slouch yourself.” Roggi had been as athletic as Dardeh had ever seen him, rolling and sprinting to dodge the flames and deliver multitudes of heavy blows on the dragon like a man possessed, and had done a substantial amount of the damage that brought it down.
Roggi chuckled. “Well when you’re protecting something important I guess it’s easier to dig deep.”
Dardeh felt a tingle run up his spine. He was protecting… me. I’m important to him. I can’t get over it. He smiled again. “Good thing, too, since I’m still pretty sleepy.” Because you hardly let me sleep last night, Roggi. When he hadn’t been busy in other ways Roggi had been talking, a great flood of words that Dardeh could barely remember for his tiredness but which he’d been happy to hear anyway. He’d just listened, holding Roggi close, smiling. Roggi had talked about Briinda, and what happened afterward, and his time as a soldier, and what it had been like growing up in Kynesgrove, all of it punctuated with periods of pure physical delight of the kind Dardeh had rarely experienced in his lifetime. Roggi had finally exhausted himself enough to sleep, curled up in Dardeh’s arms, and they’d had a few hours of rest like that.
“Heh,” Roggi said. “Um, sorry about that, Dar.”
Dardeh stretched. “Don’t be. I wasn’t complaining. But I think it’s pretty obvious that we’d better get going. They’re coming closer together, these dragons, and they seem to be getting more powerful. It’s time. We – I – really have to deal with this.”
“We,” Roggi muttered. “Because I’m not letting you do this all on your own.”
“Thanks,” Dardeh said, smiling. Thanks, because there’s nothing else I can say that’s adequate to describe what this last day has meant to me. “Let’s go.”
___
It was a happy reunion at Breezehome. Lucia ran to give both Dardeh and Roggi hugs, then dragged Roggi into her room to the practice dummy.
“You’ve been practicing, have you?” Dardeh heard Roggi ask her.
“Yes! Let me show you.”
She demonstrated her technique with a wooden sword; he made appropriately impressed sounds and offered suggestions, then showed her how to do two-handed sword practice with it as well. Dardeh stood back, and watched for a time, and smiled.
He went up the stairs to drop his pack in his bedroom, and Roggi followed suit, smiling at him all the way.
“So, Roggi,” Dardeh said hesitantly.
“Yeah?”
“Will you… stay with me? Consider this your home, at least when you’re here?”
Roggi smiled. “You don’t think I’m going to be anywhere else, do you? Of course I will. If you’ll have me, that is.”
He wasn’t thinking about where they were or who else was in the house. He pulled Roggi closer and kissed him, then smiled. And then grinned, and whispered in Roggi’s ear.
“As often as I can get away with it.”
Roggi tossed back his head and laughed, then went to the bedroom to put away his things.
Dardeh went back downstairs to rummage about in one of his storage chests. He had an idea that was going to require some time at the smithy. He felt eyes on his back; when he turned around Lydia beckoned him over.
“So,” she said quietly, her eyes twinkling, “I see that Roggi will still be sharing your bedroom?”
Dardeh blushed. They’d shared the room before, and she knew that; but there was a quality to her tone and eyes that said she had something else on her mind.
“What?”
“You can’t fool me, Dardeh. I can see something when it’s right in front of my nose. It finally happened, didn’t it?”
By the Nine. Either I have the most obvious face in the entire world or Lydia is just that good. Then he stopped to think about all the other people who had looked at him and made correct, snap judgments. Ulfric, for one. Andante, for another. I must have the most obvious face in the world.
“Well, uh…” Gosh I must look like a ripe tomato right now.
Lydia cocked her head to one side. “Don’t lie to me, Dardeh. It’s my job to look after you so I’ve paid attention to your ways. When you’re here, that is.”
He laughed. “All right, yes, you’re right. You usually are. I hope this won’t bother you?”
Lydia wrapped her arms around his chest and pulled him into a hug. “As long as you’re happy. That’s what I want. And I think that you are. Roggi looks happy, too.”
He found himself grinning widely. “I don’t remember ever being happier, Lydia. Thank you.” Then he frowned. “Tomorrow it might be different. We’ll talk about it when Lucia isn’t around to hear, if that’s ok.”
She gave him a worried look, but nodded. “Very well. Let me go make us something to eat. Unless you’d rather go to the tavern…”
“We’ve been eating in the taverns or on the road all this time. Something else would be nice.”
He let her go, then turned to find Roggi descending the stairs, his eyebrows raised.
“Hmm, so was all that just air, what you told me about Lydia?” he whispered. “Art work, a hundred years, all that?”
Dardeh laughed. “No, foolish. She was saying… congratulations. Go talk to her. She’s got good eyes.”
Roggi grinned. “And you wear everything you’re feeling right on your face. Which is why you’d have never been good at what I used to do.”
Roggi moved to the far side of the room, where Lydia was stirring the cooking pot. Dardeh felt a tug on his arm.
“Papa?”
He turned to Lucia, who was grinning at him.
“What is it?”
“Is Mr. Roggi going to live with us now? Because I …”
Oh seriously? Lucia, too? “Because you what?”
“Because I saw you kissing him, upstairs, and I wondered if that meant he was going to be my papa too.”
Dardeh was stunned. Flummoxed. Embarrassed beyond repair.
What on earth do I say now?
“Well, uh… do you like Roggi?”
“Of course I do,” she said with a smile. “He’s nice.”
Nice. He’s complicated, and half broken, and he can do things that I hope you never have reason to know even exist but yes. He is nice, too. He’s a lovely man who should have had a very different life than he’s had.
“Well he has his own house, sweetheart. In Kynesgrove. I don’t know whether he’ll stay here all the time but I hope he will stay here with us when he’s here.”
She looked up at him and shook her head with a mischievous grin. “Well I remember my first papa kissing my ma like that. I think he likes you back.”
Dardeh stared at her for another few moments, dumbfounded, not knowing what to say and appalled that he hadn’t thought about the child in the house when he’d grabbed Roggi like that, right in plain view. Then he laughed. Lucia wasn’t just a child, she was half grown and had been out in the world. He knelt down and gave her a hug.
“You’re a pretty smart girl. Will it be ok with you if he lives with us sometimes?”
“Of course, Papa. Are you going to get married?”
Dardeh felt as though he’d been struck by lightning.
Marry Roggi?
Could we?
Would he ever agree to it? Would he have me?
“I, uh… We haven’t talked about it, Lucia. I’ll have to give it some thought.”
She nodded. “Ok. I’m going to go practice with my sword now. Mr. Roggi showed me a couple of new swings I can learn how to do.” She and her ever-present fox went into her room, and she started taking two-handed swings at the child-sized practice dummy.
Dardeh turned and headed for the door, glancing at Roggi and Lydia. “I need to visit the smithy for a little bit. I’ll be back soon.” Lydia nodded; Roggi gave him a curious look but said nothing.
Marry Roggi?
___
Dardeh hadn’t told Roggi about the dream he’d had while trying to rest in their tent.
He’d fallen asleep, finally, and then had found himself once again in a dream, in the Bannered Mare, this time on the upper level balcony. He heard a noise to his left and turned his head just slightly, to see a man all in black out of the corner of his eye. It was a familiar face, one that might easily have been the one he saw in the glass himself if he had been born with black hair.
Both of us all in black this time. Interesting.
“He is still alive,” Dadarh said quietly.
“Miraak? No, he is quite dead. I did what you wanted. I went to Solstheim and he’s dead.”
“No. The other one.”
“Which other one, Dadarh? You didn’t tell me who you meant. You might easily mean me, for all I know. Or Alduin, and you know he isn’t dead yet.”
Dadarh rose and paced back and forth in front of Dardeh. “You know who I mean. He has no business ruling Skyrim. I cannot complete my contract. I thought perhaps my son would do it for me. But now I will have to use the girl instead. She at least has the backbone you so obviously lack.”
Ulfric? He had a contract to kill Ulfric Stormcloak?
Dardeh sneered at him. “Dark Brotherhood. Well, your kind has been trying to kill me. And as much as I’d love to remove Ulfric from the face of the world I have larger issues to deal with. And so does he.”
Dadarh smirked. “Here you sit, wearing the black and yet not strong enough to truly follow in our footsteps. There is too much of your mother in you, boy.”
Dardeh laughed. “My mother was the strongest woman I ever met. I don’t know what she saw in you. I certainly never had the opportunity to see anything of you, aside from the fact that you left her on her own, with child. She knows what part of you I carry in me, and she has warned me against it. For that, I am grateful. That part, I have seen in myself. It makes me ill.”
Dadarh growled. “You are not worthy to carry my swords.”
Dardeh sneered. “Very well, then. So be it. Go fight your enemy from the afterlife; I’ll have nothing to do with it. Ulfric Stormcloak will meet his end but it will not be by my hand.”
And Dadarh had faded away, and Dardeh had slowly risen through the mists of his dream to the slightest, rosey hint of a sunrise. And he had held Roggi a bit tighter.
___
After all of them had eaten, Dardeh had sent Lucia outside to play and sat down with Roggi and Lydia to talk about what was coming next.
“We have to trap a dragon up in Dragonsreach tomorrow.”
Lydia’s face went pale. “A dragon?”
Dardeh nodded. “His name is Odahviing. I’m led to believe that he may be our only way to reach Alduin and stop him. Balgruuf is going to help us catch him and then… I really don’t know what happens after that.”
Lydia looked between them, her face creased in a worried frown. “Are you going too, Roggi?”
Roggi gave Dardeh a long, sad stare, then turned to meet Lydia’s gaze. “I want to, Lydia, but I don’t know whether I can. I don’t know what’s going to happen, whether it’s even a possibility.”
Dardeh shook his head. “I don’t know either.” He reached out and took Lydia’s hands in his. “I don’t know whether I’ll make it back or not. I intend to, but I don’t know what’s going to happen. So promise me something.”
“No, Dardeh,” she said softly, her eyes beginning to mist over. “You’re going to be back. You don’t need me to promise anything.”
“But you will, yes? Do I have to Thane all over the house?”
Roggi chuckled.
“What is it, then?”
This will make her cry. But she needs to understand. He looked at her hands, away from her face, and spoke quietly.
“If I don’t make it back, be happy. Be … with your friend at Jorrvaskr. Be with Roggi, if that will make you happy.” He felt Roggi stiffen beside him; he hadn’t expected that. “But be happy, and take care of Lucia. As long as you can. As long as Alduin gives the world to be, if I can’t kill him, and forever if I can. Be happy.”
“Dar,” Roggi said quietly.
He heard a sniffle, and looked up to see fat tears plopping from Lydia’s eyes onto her arms.
“I’ll promise that, my Thane, but you’d better come back to us.”
He smiled.
“I will. I intend to. I survived Miraak and I’m going to survive this too. I still have more things to do.” He stood and pulled Lydia up to him, then wrapped her in a hug. “I have to do this, Lydia, but I have so many reasons to come back home and you’re one of them,” he whispered against her ear. “Ok?”
She nodded.
Dardeh dropped his arms, looked at Roggi, and smiled. “Well then. I have something to do upstairs and then I need to sleep.”
Lydia sniffled, then laughed. “I’ll just bet you do. I’ll go get Lucia then.”
Dardeh poked her in the arm. “Not that, Lydia.”
She grinned at him. And Roggi chuckled.
“Not! I swear! That’s… not what I had in mind….”
Roggi took his hand and led him toward the stairs.
“I’ll see you boys later,” Lydia said with a wave, heading for the door.
“Honestly,” Dardeh grumbled at Roggi once they got up to the bedroom.
“Come on, Dar,” Roggi said, nuzzling Dardeh’s neck. “You know you want to.”
Yes, yes I do, but first I have to put something to rest.
“Give me just a moment.”
Dardeh pulled his father’s swords from his belt, laying the first one on the bed and staring at it.
“I’ve had these swords all my life, Roggi,” he said quietly. “They’re all I’ve ever known of my father, until the dreams started coming. I always felt as though somehow I needed to keep them with me, keep them in use, because I’m…”
“Half Redguard?”
Dardeh nodded. “Yeah. Something like that. It’s like Jine told me. We’re a long line of men with great power. And some of that power came to me in these swords. But I decided something. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile and now it’s time.”
He rose, took both of the carefully-tended Alik’r scimitars and placed them carefully in a long chest at the foot of his bed, closing the lid gently once they were stored.
“Dar, your swords? You can’t fight a dragon with just Shouts and I don’t know whether I’ll be with you.”
Dardeh smiled and reached under the bed, then pulled out a blade and placed in on the bed where the scimitar had been. It was a long, straight blade, double-edged and wickedly sharp. He turned and smiled at Roggi.
“My sword, Roggi. I just made it. I’ll carry this one in my right hand and the dragon-killer in the left.”
“It looks pretty deadly.”
Dardeh picked it up and slid it into its sheath. “Yes, well I’d been thinking about it for awhile, but that Andante fellow said something that convinced me. ‘Interesting can be a double-edged sword. But a double-edged sword can be interesting.’” He turned to Roggi and took his hands.
“I’m going to go kill Alduin on my own terms. With my own sword. For whatever it’s worth.”
Roggi smiled at him and then leaned down to wrap him in a kiss.
_____
A long time later, Dardeh lay awake in the dark, listening to Roggi’s quiet breathing, his eyes closed but sleep eluding him. His mind was replaying every moment of the past days, wondering at what strange twists his life had taken but happy that they had led him here, resting beside the man he loved in a house that was his own, full of people who were family to him now, in a city that respected and looked up to him.
“Dar?”
He didn’t open his eyes, but he smiled at the sound of Roggi’s whisper.
“You’re awake too, eh?”
“Yeah. “
“What is it?”
“Well first of all, why did you say that to Lydia? About being happy, with me?”
Dardeh sighed.
“I… don’t want you to end up alone, Roggi. I want you to be happy. Both of you. And if I’m not here, well, maybe you can help each other with that.”
“Dar.”
There was a moment of quiet, but Dardeh could almost feel Roggi’s thoughts racing. Roggi breathed deeply and then exhaled.
He wants to speak but is hesitating.
“What, Roggi?”
“I want to tell you something. And I’m not sure what you’ll say, but… I want to tell you. First of all, whether I can come with you or not you’re coming back. Got that?”
Dardeh smiled. I can’t control what’s coming next but I’ll try.
“All right. What else?”
There was a long silence.
Oh no. What now? Every time he’s acted like this it’s been yet another horrible thing. What can it be now?
Roggi sighed and then spoke, very quietly.
“Dardeh. I love you.”
Dardeh caught his breath, stunned. In spite of himself he started to cry, quietly, trying hard not to shake or give away the fact that tears were running down his face.
How long have I waited to hear someone say that to me. Not just to be wanted physically, enjoyed, but to be truly loved. Almost thirty years. I never thought it would ever happen.
“Dar?”
“Yes?” He couldn’t bring himself to say more. If he did, he knew he would start sobbing.
“Is that ok? It’s not too soon, or too much, is it? Is it ok?”
Dardeh spoke, but his voice was trembling.
“Oh yes, Roggi. It surely is.” He took a deep breath. “I love you too. Don’t ever forget that.”
Roggi raised himself up on one elbow, leaned over, and kissed Dardeh again, this time very gently. He ran one hand down Dardeh’s cheek.
“What’s this?”
“I’m crying, you idiot. I’m happy. I never wanted to hear something so badly before. Come here. I love you.”
He pulled Roggi back into another long kiss.